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Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Puppy Obesity Epidemic Now Includes Adorable Puppies

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Sep 2, 2009 at 1:31 PM

Jesus. Look at this fat fucking puppy. It's so fat… IT CAN'T GET UP! Get up, you fat fucking puppy! Actually, don't get up. Just roll around on your back until you lose some of that juicy blubber that's keeping you down there in the first place. Then, when you finally do starve yourself down to a reasonable weight, you can get up, and start stuffing your fat fucking puppy face again, you fat fucking puppy. (Stop looking at me like that. You're fucking fat, you fat fucking puppy.)

 

Comments (10) RSS

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1
Horribly funny and horribly sad at the same time. Poor lil' brudder!
Posted by tk. on September 2, 2009 at 3:11 PM · Report
2
Is this post an example of proper commenting styles when replying to people on /b/town?
Posted by Graham on September 2, 2009 at 3:21 PM · Report
3
Only when applied toward puppies. (And maybe babies?)
Posted by Wm. Steven Humphrey on September 2, 2009 at 3:22 PM · Report
4
With the supposed anonymity of the internet, is it safe for me to assume that everyone is either a puppy or a baby?
Posted by Graham on September 2, 2009 at 3:32 PM · Report
5
He is fat (the puppy), but pets only eat what you feed them. Usually. So, he's been fed way too much. Time for some Frisbee chasing.
Posted by ujfoyt on September 2, 2009 at 3:36 PM · Report
6
He is not fat.
Posted by camarorush on September 2, 2009 at 3:49 PM · Report
7
I know it's supposed to be a joke, but it makes me sad to see how much we humans have screwed up dogs by breeding them to be, essentially, non-functional. French bulldogs, like other brachycephalic breeds, are often unable to deliver puppies vaginally, requiring risky caesarean section births. They also have trouble even getting it on without human intervention, and are prone to a host of health problems caused by the selective breeding (and inbreeding) of dwarf bulldogs.

So, yeah. He's not fat. He's just been deformed by human intervention. :(
Posted by TWSS on September 2, 2009 at 4:05 PM · Report
8
@TWSS...

But they're so fucking cute!
Posted by Graham on September 2, 2009 at 4:27 PM · Report
9
Well TWSS, you're right. We humans are responsible for breeding these strange-fuzzy-child-substitute-creature things. That's why we invented the internet. So these pathetic creatures can be of some use to society. And that use is larfing. Lots of larfing.
Posted by themme on September 2, 2009 at 5:22 PM · Report
10
Wm.™ Steven Humphrey you're so lame for writing that. WTF??
Posted by EmilyRobinson on September 3, 2009 at 11:19 AM · Report

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