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Friday, September 4, 2009

Food Soooo, Bacon. Okay.

Posted by Patrick Alan Coleman on Fri, Sep 4, 2009 at 3:25 PM

BLB
  • BLB

I have not changed my mind about bacon. I still feel that the bacon-everything movement has run its course, I doubt I’ll ever eat a bacon cheesecake, and I still blanch at bacon-wrapped appetizers.

I’ll admit, however, that when I got sauced downtown last Saturday and was en route to Mary’s Club from the Ash Street Saloon, I found it impossible to resist a bacon-wrapped all-beef hot dog from a vendor next to the Wild Seafood cart. It was, from what I can remember, exactly what I needed at the time.

So, maybe the sober me is a booster for reasonable uses of bacon, but the drunk me can still, apparently, be seduced by down and dirty bacon insanity. I might say I’ll never eat a bacon cheesecake, but if I happen to be near one while I’m six sheets to the wind there’s no guarantee that my culinary moral outrage will be able to stand up to the self-loathing pork lunatic that I manage to suppress when sober.

All of this hand wringing about bacon is my way of introducing the news that tomorrow is International Bacon Day. I thought I’d stop being a hypocritical asshole about bacon for a moment, and celebrate the most Internety meat of all, by listing a few of my favorite bacon dishes in our fair city. Feel free to add your favorites in the comments section below.

A Short List Wrapped in Bacon! After the Jump!

The Bunk Breakfast Sandwich [621 SE Morrison, 477-9515]:

I had one of these this morning. It’s dreamy. An iron cross of bacon tops cheese and a runny fried egg, all stuffed in a poppy-seed kaiser roll. Have one with a Bunk-mosa (Miller and OJ) for the full effect.

The Mother Mary of God at the Florida Room [435 N Killingsworth, 287-5658}:

The Bloody Mary is absolutely insane. Really, you don’t even need breakfast when this thing is plunked down in front of you. I consider this one of the rare instances when bacon and booze make sense together—bacon garnish I can handle.

The Bacon Maple Bar at VooDoo Doughnuts {22 SW 3rd, 543-9943]:

This is a no-brainer really. Yeah there might be some contention about who has the best maple bar in town, but this is not the time for that argument. I still love the greasy sweet porky delight.

The BLB at Meat Cheese Bread [1406 SE Stark,
234-1700]:

This use of bacon is completely reasonable. One thick slab of artisan bacon on top of roasted heirloom beet creates a perfect blending of slightly sweet vegetal goodness with salty smoky pork.

The Reggie Deluxe at Pine State Biscuits [3640 SE Belmont, 236-3346]:

Here the bacon is less the main attraction than a power player in an amazing cabal of fatty constituents. Could the fried chicken, gravy, fried egg, cheese, and biscuit creation exist without the bacon? Sure, but it wouldn’t be quite as awesome.

Those are the top five off the top of my head as I look down the barrel of labor-day weekend. I hope you fill the comments section with a comprehensive list of the best that Portland has to offer in terms of bacon. A comprehensive list that the ugly bacon craving drunk inside of me will peruse with one eye half closed sometime Sunday night.

Oh! And I'd be remiss if I didn't mention Portland's first Baconfest to take place on October 3rd aaaannndd its rival Vegan Fakinfest to take place on the same day. More detail;s to follow.

 

Comments (7) RSS

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1
"...as I was en route to Mary's Club"

You are talking about a bacon sandwich and you have to slip in props to a strip club?

I hope the next time you show up at a food cart they make YOU degrade yourself for a taco. Just say'n.
Posted by Unreal on September 4, 2009 at 4:27 PM · Report
2
I also threw in props to a dive bar and a cart that I can't remember the name of because I was too loaded. I don't see your point, really.

And I'll have you know that I get paid to degrade myself for tacos.
Posted by Patrick A. Coleman on September 4, 2009 at 4:38 PM · Report
3
I'll bet you could smell the Vegan Fakinfest from a couple blocks away. And I'm not talking about the food.
Posted by el cubano on September 4, 2009 at 5:12 PM · Report
4
http://www.marysclub.com/history.html
Posted by tk. on September 4, 2009 at 6:04 PM · Report
5
You don't know the difference between a food cart, a dive bar and a strip club?

Lets see, in one of these establishments women take their clothes off for losers. The other two are not normally seen as offensive.

You can play dumb if you want, it goes with the Mercury mystique.
Posted by Unreal on September 4, 2009 at 6:23 PM · Report
6
Have you not read the Mercury? (Like, maybe just two weeks ago when a Mary's stripper/longtime contributor was on the cover?)

And i'm sure you can find just as many people (if not more) in Portland who are offended by a bacon wrapped hot dog as they are by strippers.
Posted by JasonC on September 4, 2009 at 7:34 PM · Report
7
Oh god Unreal DO NOT ASK HIM TO GET NAKED! We want him to write about food not cause us to regurgitate it
Posted by The Showstopper on October 15, 2009 at 10:44 AM · Report

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