CONGRESS RETURNS TO HEALTH CARE MESS!!! Nice work to come back to after vacation.

CADBURY WILL FIGHT TAKEOVER!!! Meanwhile I will eat them over. I mean, I will eat more than 50% of their assets, starting with this bad boy:

Cadbury-Van---Egg-cadbury-478113_1024_768.jpg

LEHMAN CEO: "I'VE BEEN DUMPED ON!!!" Ah, diddums.

CHENEY ALMOST BLEW BRITISH ANTI-TERROR CASE!!! Tried to shoot someone in the face, perhaps.

WALL STREET 2!!! God bless Oliver Stone and his brash retardedness.

WERE DOGS DOMESTICATED FOR FOOD??? Bringing new meaning to the scooby snack.

LAURA BUSH DEFENDS OBAMA!!! His back to school address is a good idea, she feels.

WAR OF THE CLOVES!!! Watch out hippies, cloves are illegal.

Good day.