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Everything as Fuck

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Sean Breslin on Thu, Sep 17, 2009 at 6:33 AM

The plot thickens as New Haven, Conn. police arrest a lab tech in connection with a Yale student's murder.

Good news! America's first-time jobless claims dropped, putting the number at a low, low half-million people!

United States bails on plans for a long-range missile defense shield in Europe. Certain to leave us all helpless.

Space telescope sends back pictures of really old light. Way older than the incandescent bulb.

Twitter now valued at $1 billion??? That's $7,142,857 dollars per character!

What, we have to put it in the court record for you? OBAMA WAS BORN IN THE UNITED STATES! Now serve your damn country.

Chris Brown does his penance for assaulting Rihanna!

And finally, Mary Travers of Peter, Paul and Mary died yesterday. Get your day started by singing along in memoriam:

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