This Week in the Mercury


Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Stuff Your Face for Bitch!

Posted by Sarah Mirk on Wed, Sep 23, 2009 at 1:29 PM

Thursday: Eating holes for feminism.
  • Thursday: Eating holes for feminism.
Two fantastic things are colliding in the same place at the same time this Thursday.

1) Bitch magazine, Portland's own locally-made, nationally-read, super-smart feminist media outlet.
2) A donut eating contest.

At 7PM Thursday, Bitch is celebrating the release of their Fall issue "Consumed" at obesity epicenter VooDoo Doughnuts Two. Anyone who gets there early enough and has a hunger for winning can compete in the challenge to consume an cranium-sized Texass Donut in under 90 seconds.

I spoke with Bitch web editor Kelsey Wallace this weekend about donut-consumption strategy. I think, since I'm planning to enter the contest and I am also planning to win, it's only fair to share the tips Wallace gave me off-the-cuff:

Do not start slowly.
Rip the donut into pieces.
If possible, dip the donut pieces in milk or water pre-mastication.
Stuff as much donut as you can into your mouth.
Focus on success.

There you have it!

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