This Week in the Mercury
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
SEX Get Yer Tickets for HUMP!
Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Sep 30, 2009 at 2:52 PM
Dear Portland:
You like sex… YES?? Then you'll flip ass over teakettle for the sexy 5-minute homemade dirty movies in the HUMP! Amateur Porn Film Fest! Here are five good reasons why you better get your tickets NOW.
1) You like sex. (We already covered that.)
2) The HUMP! Festival is hosted by the always hilarious DAN SAVAGE!
3) Every one of the films in this festival was made by someone living in the Northwest. So who knows? You might even see your sexy cubicle mate!
4) There are all sorts of porns in HUMP! Sweet porn, alternative porn, homo porn, straight porn, confused porn, animated porn, comedy porn, hardcore porn, porny-porn… ALL TYPES OF PORN, FOR ALL TYPES OF PEOPLE!
5) Dude, these screenings will only happen on the weekend of October 24 & 25—after that all copies will be destroyed! In other words, THIS IS YOUR ONLY CHANCE!
6) It's being held at Cinema 21. They're cool.
7) You get to vote on which porn should win the $2000 grand prize!
8) It's wicked fun.
SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? Get your advance tickets for the HUMP! Amateur Porn Festival right here and right now! IT'S THE FUNNEST, PORNIEST FUN YOU'LL HAVE ALL YEAR!
Sorry, no animal sex in HUMP! (However, you'll probably see these guys after the show in the alley outside.)
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