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Monday, October 12, 2009

Religion Why I Date God Instead of You

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Mon, Oct 12, 2009 at 9:18 AM

1) Because God doesn't insist on changing clothes three times before we go out.
2) Because God doesn't play mind games over the phone.
3) Because God doesn't whine about me always taking Him to Applebee's.
4) Because God never does this: "BLAH BLAH BLAH, NAG NAG NAG."
5) Because God never makes me beg. Except when I'm praying.
6) Because when God "blasts" me in the face, He let's me "blast" him back.

You never did that.

 

Comments (3) RSS

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1
Ah, Jesus "Love Blasting" Christ!
Posted by Suburban Porn King on October 12, 2009 at 11:37 AM · Report
2
I just learned that Christians have really bad hair.
Posted by camarorush on October 12, 2009 at 4:01 PM · Report
3
Why should I date a God that's just gonna mess around behind my back with my old lady?

I demand EXCLUSIVITY, dammit.

And isn't that youth pastor who's clearly at the edge of 40 (if not just beyond) actin' all young and stuff? I almost bought it.

I'm now going to go vomit.
Posted by Samuel John Klein on October 13, 2009 at 4:34 AM · Report

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