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Tuesday, October 13, 2009

News / SEX Good Morning, (Crashes Allegedly Caused by Oral Sex in Australia) News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Tue, Oct 13, 2009 at 9:48 AM

See, if you lived in Australia this morning, you'd be reading stories like the following. Police claim the reason a Humpty-Doo man crashed his truck into a concrete drain was because his passenger Allyson White was administering oral sex at the time. However, as you can see in the awesome quotes provided below by Australia's Northern Territory News, Ms. White strongly and hilariously denies the allegations.


"I was not sucking his d*** - and it's pretty obvious that wasn't the case ... you only have to look at the [seatbelt] mark on my chest," she said.

"Clearly I had my seatbelt on, so it's impossible that I'd be leaning over sucking his d*** unless he is hung like a donkey or I've got a f****** rubber neck.

"If it was true I'd just cop it sweet and think 'how embarrassing, I got caught sucking someone's d***' - but it is not true and that's what is p****** me off.

Clearly Ms. White's defense is rock solid. So how did such a vicious rumor get started?

"I don't understand where that story has come from," she said.

"It may have looked bad when police first arrived as my girls were hanging out all over the place. I also had a $5 note wedged between my boobs so they probably just assumed I was a sex worker or something and he'd already paid me.

"But $5 is a bit cheap for a head job."

It's official: I like Australian girls.

 

Comments (3) RSS

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1
Oh man!, reading The Northern Territory News was one of my favorite memories of Australia. I looked forward to arriving at a roadhouse, having a burger and beer, and catching up with the news (or lack thereof) in the Northern Territory. Where else can you learn about what the "hoons" have been up to? (which if you decide to bicycle in Australia, the most dangerous thing you will encounter is not snakes, crocodiles, deserts, or jelly fish...it is hoons by a long shot)

http://www.ntnews.com.au/article/2009/10/1…


Posted by humanclock on October 13, 2009 at 10:17 AM · Report
2
Is this a story about hoon poon?
Posted by Demondog on October 13, 2009 at 10:50 AM · Report
3
http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2009/a…

Clearly the researcher was wrong when she said the roads of Oz are a lonely place.
Posted by atomic on October 13, 2009 at 11:59 AM · Report

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