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Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Nov 11, 2009 at 9:01 AM

Obama to America: "Happy Veterans Day, everybody! (Now let's make some more of them.)"

Blackwater allegedly tried to cover up civilian deaths in Iraq the old fashioned way—BRIBES.

The gunman who shot up that lab in Tualatin yesterday, killing one and injuring two others? The victim was his estranged wife.

The DC Sniper is executed; carries his secrets to the grave.

The Vatican commissions a study on extraterrestrial life, because the way they figure it, there's an entire universe to screw up.

Dear Fergie: We don't care, and please, please, please SHUT... UP.

Salt Lake City approves gay rights law... Wait, what?? With the support of the Mormon Church. Wait... WHAT?!?

And finally, BEHOLD! The fastest score in the history of professional soccer. Saudi striker Nawaf Al Abed is all like "BOOM!" And the goalie is all like, "Wha... HUH??? Heeeeeyyyy...." (Nice victory dance, too!)

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