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Friday, November 13, 2009

Savage Love Letter of the Day: "My Son Likes Stickpussy"

Posted by Dan Savage on Fri, Nov 13, 2009 at 4:32 PM

I'm a 44-year-old single father and my 18-year-old son lives at home with me. We get along great and i love him dearly. I work nights and usually get home around 6:30 a.m. Long story short, I came home one morning last week to find my son passed out on the couch with his pants pulled down and a transexual porn DVD on the TV. I was a little shocked but I thought it best to just let him sleep and deal with it later. At dinner that night when I asked him why he was watching transexual porn his face turned white and he fumbled through the excuse that he didn't realize that he bought "tranny porn" and fell asleep before he could get up and turn it off. I didn't push the issue but I am highly skeptical as the DVD case was covered with nothing but transexuals. Excuse my ignorance, but is it safe to say my son is gay? He's had many girlfriends and I've never seen or felt anything that would lead me to believe that he likes men. Are transexuals even considered "men"? Should I try to get him to open up about his feelings or leave him alone? Whatever he is into will never change my love for him but I am unsure how to open up dialogue with him at this point.

A Confused Dad

My response after the jump...

Your son doesn't like men, ACD, he likes cock. All that transsexual porn being pumped into the porn market—porn featuring those lovable and lovely "chicks with dicks," or the ladies with the "stickpussy," as a fan described it in early "Savage Love" column—is mostly consumed by mostly straight guys. Gay men generally don't rent tranny porn or actual trannies. So I would say that if anything your son's professed sexual orientation—straight or nearly straight—was confirmed, not undermined, by what you saw that morning.

While straight guys into cock represent a small minority of straight guys, ACD, their numbers are large enough to support a robust and growing market for tranny porn and tranny escorts. I know it can be hard for straight guys who aren't into cock to wrap their heads around straight guys who are—doesn't a guy with a thing for dicks define gay?—but the world contains multitudes. Just as some mostly straight women are turned on by fondling other women's breasts, some mostly straight guys are turned on by the seeing and/or touching other men's cocks. And for these guys cock goes down easier when it's attached to someone who reads as female in every other respect. Because they are genuinely attracted to women—to feminine curves and breasts and hips and pretty faces—and to pussy—and if they can get can satisfy their lust for/curiosity about cocks with a woman, well, that's Yahtzee.

What to do? Drop it. You stumbled over your son's fetish, you saw him getting his kink on. Thanks to his carelessness you know something about your son that you, as a parent, had a right not to know. Your job now is to pretend that you don't know it.

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