Hey everybody. I'm Phillip Michael Thomas
, better known as TV's "Tubbs" from Miami Vice
. Before I hit it big on television's most popular show, I took a shit-ton of angel dust
, or "wack" as it's called on the street. And I have to tell you, folks... I highly recommend it. I used to style my hair with a regular brush—that is until I discovered wack. Now I brush my head with a live alligator. I previously used a tennis racquet for playing tennis—until I learned you could use it to hide your wack. Going to the grocery used to be a boring, tedious chore—but wack showed me that rats live on oranges, tarantulas are overrunning my body, and everybody in the world is actually a zombie. I didn't know that. Now I know better. And it's all thanks to wack. So try some wack today, you jive talking turkey.
I'm Philip Michael Thomas. Thanks for listening.