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Thursday, November 19, 2009

Good Morning, News!!

Posted by Matt Davis on Thu, Nov 19, 2009 at 10:31 AM

BACKFENCE!!! They have a great lineup of panelists tonight at 7:30 at the Mission Theater, including: KAROL COLLYMORE (Political blogger, ace mac and cheese cooker and "politically reckless" former senate and house candidate) AND FATBOY ROBERTS (Recovering Radio Personality). It's $10, and promises to be fantastic. You should go.

TASERING A TEN YEAR OLD!!! Arkansas cop gets suspended.

FIGHT CLUB AT TEN Breaking: Brad Pitt has got considerably less cut, in the face, over the last decade. This is a tragedy. Also, hair:

fight-club-thumb-500x281-13595.jpg

NORTON, PITT: IF ONLY ED HAD MARRIED ANGELINA, HIS CAREER WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SHOT

AL BORE!!! Be more interesting!

PORTLAND SPIRIT OWNERS BITCH ABOUT GLOBAL WARMING!!! The wivver's getting higher, says Dan Yates, an outspoken Republican and owner of the Portland Spirit. It's gwobal warming...build the bwidges higher! Reminds me of one of the Al Gore counter-counter-protesters' signs, last night:

counterprotest.jpg

CINDY'S SUES CITY FOR $1MILLION!!! Check out the story in the Metro section of today's O about the owners of Cindy's filing notice to sue City Commissioner Randy Leonard over his HIT squad. They are Dan Cossette, a convicted cocaine dealer, and Michael Wright, a convicted cocaine dealer and convicted murderer. I would imagine the city's attorneys will enjoy alluding to such issues in voir dire, asking jurors such theoretical questions as, "would a murder conviction undermine somebody's credibility, in your eyes?"

STOP MOVING HERE!!! Oh. You did. I didn't mean it. We need you. Keep moving here!

NEWSPAPER DISTRIBUTORS TIED TO ORGANIZED CRIME!!! In New York, Jay. In New York. Please don't "confuse" my shoes with cement and drop me in the Willamette!

"What if a group of white supremacists want to buy the cover?" Creative Loafing sells its cover for charity. We already did this. Because we're THE FUTURE OF MEDIA IN PORTLANDTM.

PALIN, OR VAMPIRES!!! Which is more annoyingly over-exposed?

THE WRONG SIDE OF HISTORY!!! Critics of medicare and social security trucked out the same criticisms for those programs back in the day as the Tea Baggers are using on health reform. Nicholas Kristoff (who is from Yamhill county, by the way) says boo sucks in the Times.

Good day.

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