This Week in the Mercury
Friday, November 20, 2009
Luv "Hi, ur hot" = Bad, "What's up, zombie vegetarian" = Good
Posted by Ali "the Intern" Reingold on Fri, Nov 20, 2009 at 12:58 PM
So I've been thinking about online dating lately (for my specific thoughts on the matter, go here), and one of my friends tipped me off to an interesting article about what you should and shouldn't write in a first message to a potential ugly-bumper, according to statistics from the OKCupid blog. Using slang like ur will not get you booty. Calling someone sexy is a big no-no. If you're a vegetarian zombie, however, you're in luck, my friend! (But what does that mean, exactly? You don't eat brains? Then what do you eat?) Of particular interest is the finding that starting your message with "hi," "hey," or "hello" is less likely to get you a response than something like "howdy" (which, I guess, makes sense; someone who says "howdy" is more likely to be a cowboy, and who doesn't want to date a cowboy?).
- Chart from the OkCupid blog
Also, if you're a dude, you should apologize for being so awkward. And if you're into God, well, you can pretty much forget it.
So why don't you put this helpful info to use and hop on over to the Mercury Lovelab? I feel fairly confident saying that there are vegetarian zombies galore on that thing.
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"ugly bumper"? Are you like 55?
Please, please tell me the Mercury is not also joining the trend to aim everything in the world at spoiled 11-year-old American girls.
Yes. I am 55. And I want to help all the 11-year-old girls out there. Mostly, I just like numbers that fit the 99-11n formula. Where n is an integer between 0 and 8, of course.
Ali, is this your subtle way of saying that you're interested in online dating?
Ali, if you're looking at actually writing something about the topic and need quotes or first hand experience crap; get my personal email from someone that works there. I'd be happy to do that kind of stuff.
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