So I've been thinking about online dating lately (for my specific thoughts on the matter, go here), and one of my friends tipped me off to an interesting article about what you should and shouldn't write in a first message to a potential ugly-bumper, according to statistics from the OKCupid blog. Using slang like ur will not get you booty. Calling someone sexy is a big no-no. If you're a vegetarian zombie, however, you're in luck, my friend! (But what does that mean, exactly? You don't eat brains? Then what do you eat?) Of particular interest is the finding that starting your message with "hi," "hey," or "hello" is less likely to get you a response than something like "howdy" (which, I guess, makes sense; someone who says "howdy" is more likely to be a cowboy, and who doesn't want to date a cowboy?).
Also, if you're a dude, you should apologize for being so awkward. And if you're into God, well, you can pretty much forget it.
So why don't you put this helpful info to use and hop on over to the Mercury Lovelab? I feel fairly confident saying that there are vegetarian zombies galore on that thing.
Get the best of the Mercury each week in your inbox!