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Monday, November 23, 2009

Blazers vs Bulls - Hot Live Blog Action

Posted by Ezra Ace Caraeff on Mon, Nov 23, 2009 at 6:48 PM

blzbulls.jpg

Live from the Rose Garden as the Portland Trail Blazers meet the Chicago Bulls in the 1992 NBA Finals just another crummy early season game. I'd trade it all to be back in 1992, just for a fleeting glimpse at Lamont Strothers. That name really brings me back. I wonder what happened to Lamont? "He later played in the Philippine Basketball Association."

Ouch.

PRE-GAME:
At 6-6 the Bulls' record is very misleading. Unlike Portland—whose schedule is straight out of the Philippine Basketball Association—the Bulls have gone against some of the league's top teams (Lakers, Nuggets, Cavs, Celtics, Spurs) and won against a few of them, including knocking off Lebron and company in Cleveland. Surprisingly Derrick Rose hasn't been the one leading this team—he's still nursing an ankle injury and is a shell of the player that pushed this team within a single game of knocking the Celtics out of last season's Eastern Conference playoffs. Instead the Bulls have been lead by a player with a ponytail and skin that needs a good OXYcution, Joakim Noah. In a fact that no one saw coming—especially after these photos of his off-season workout regime emerged—Noah leads all NBA players in rebounds (12.3) per game.

I know I should be focused on this game, but the PBA (Philippine Basketball Association) has really distracted me. They have a team called the Burger King Whoppers!! Also, the Tender Juicy Giants look pretty good this year. I wonder if the Barako Bulls need a blogger to cover their team?

Poor out a 40 on the three guard grave, that experiment is dead and buried. Martell Webster is your Blazers starter, and Andre Miller gets to watch Steve Blake while seated on the bench and wearing breakaway pants.

FIRST QUARTER:
11:15 - It's been all missed layups and turnovers for both teams so far, including Webster clanking a wide open layup. 5-2 Bulls.

7:55 - Webster is gunning for another double-double tonight. So far he is 0-3 with zero rebounds. But keep heaving up those jumpers in a crowd, buddy, it sure beats passing it off to Roy, Aldridge, Oden, wideopenBlakeinthecorner... 12-6 Bulls.

5:58 - Aldridge for three! Revenge against the team that drafted him for all of two minutes. That shot just made Tyrus Thomas, and John Paxson, cry. 13-12 Blazers.

4:01 - Webster gets his first shot, courtesy of a wide open ally-oop from Blake. See? He can make it if you strategically place the ball right above the net. 18-17 Bulls.

2:27 - Webster's handsome Spanish replacement—come on, take a guess—wastes little time, hitting a three and putting the Blazers on top. 22-20 Portland.

0:54 - I think Rudy argues calls more than the Wheels/Antonio radio team. Both were up in arms over a Fernandez phantom call against John Salmons. 28-25 Blazers.

SECOND QUARTER:
11:07 - Webster just made Taj Gibson's personal highlight reel, as the rookie swats Webster above the rim, rejecting both the ball, and the player (Webster ended up on the floor). 35-30 Blazers.

9:42 - Jerryd Bayless in the game. Okay, that makes sense. Dante Cunningham in the game. What the...? Looks like Juwan Howard just lost his minutes to a player 14 years younger than him. 37-30 Blazers.

9:13 - Not that Brad Miller can elevate off the ground, but Bayless just jumped over him for an acrobatic layup. Meanwhile, Cunningham touched the ball and immediately shuffled his feet like he was in Jamiroquai video. Yeah, Jamiroquai reference! 41-33 Blazers.

7:40 - Much like the 2007 Final Four, Noah sticks it to Oden with a dunk in his face. Oden follows with a hook shot at the shot clock buzzer. Too bad Taurean Green wasn't here to see that. Maybe he is playing in the Philippine Basketball Association? 43-37 Blazers.

5:52 - Three on-one fastbreak. Blake with the ball. Roy on one side. Aldridge on the other. Blake passes it to... Kirk Hinrich. Well played, sir. To be fair, both Hinrich and Blake are members of the Awkward White Point Guard 242 Union. 43-37 Blazers.

4:48 - Aldridge is having a huge night, especially after a pair of games when he has barely been visible. 13 points and seven boards so far for Aldridge. 49-41 Blazers.

3:18 - Overall the Blazers looks really good tonight. Their offense has been fluid and not prolonged to those pesky runs of scoreless basketball, while their defense has kept the pressure on a Bulls team throughout the game. 54-41 Blazers.

2:45 - Taurean Green, I found you! You are on the "inactive list" for AEK Athens B.C. in Greece. 55-45 Blazers.

0:58 - Portland can't miss right now. Sadly for the Bulls, the same thing cannot be said for them. 64-48 Blazers.

0:00 - In what is easily their best game so far this season, the Blazers head into the locker room looking pretty spectacular (60% shooting!). Aldridge nearly has a double-double (17 points, 9 boards), and both Oden and Roy are in double figures. This is what I thought the entire season would have looked like. 66-51 Blazers.

THIRD QUARTER:
11:11 - Derrick Rose just dunked the ball into Greg Oden's soul. He's going to need an exorcism to get that ball out. 66-53 Blazers.

7:10 - Noah might have the prettier dunk on Oden—Rose, too—but he is losing the war. Oden has outscored, out-rebounded, and out-dominated Noah all night. Plus with the exception of a missed free throw, Oden has not missed this entire game. 75-65 Blazers.

3:35 - Just as Chicago trims the lead down to a lean four points, the Blazers go back to Aldridge for a layup while getting fouled. Three points later, it's 80-73 Blazers.

2:16 - Miller with a bullet pass to a streaking Fernandez for a reverse (!) layup. #thingsBlakecannotdo 84-75 Blazers.

0:22 - Cunningham scores his first non-garbage points. Call time out and save that ball for his trophy case! 90-80 Blazers.

FOURTH QUARTER:
12:00 - A man in a gorilla mask just won an Adam Sandler DVD on the big screen. That is all.

11:03 - Cunningham has played more minutes tonight than Rudy. But he hasn't shot the ball like Rudy, who just knocked back a three and now has eight points in just as many minutes. 94-82 Blazers.

Annnnnnd then our blog died. Sorry. You missed a thrilling Bulls comeback, and Blaze the Trail Cat taking a cheerleader hostage with a loaded t-shirt gun. Actually none of those things happened. Oden and Aldridge combined for 48 points and 25 boards and the home team rolled, winning 122-98. See you Wednesday...

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