Senate Dems decided to move ahead with their debate on health care reform this weekend, but the message was clear: There's no way it's going to pass without an overhaul. And Former DNC Chair Howard Dean is NOT feeling optimistic.

And before you get too frustrated with our janky political process, here's a palate cleanser to remind you that some countries have it much, much, MUCH worse.

The Army asks Sarah Palin not to speak at her Fort Bragg book signing, fearing a massacre of brain cells.

The five men accused of aiding the 9/11 attacks will plead "not guilty" so they can "air their grievances" against America in open court. One might say they've done a pretty good job of that already.

Pope John Paul II is being considered for sainthood, partly because he would often "whip himself in remorse for his sins." In a related story, Catholicism is fucked up.

A family in Brussels thought that their son was in a vegetative coma for 23 years—until he "awoke" to let them know he had HEARD EVERY WORD THEY SAID. Awwwwkward.

Psycho kangaroo tries to drown dog; kill owner.

And finally, "Woodpecker vs. Snake… WHO YA GOT?!?" (Be a bit patient with this one, because it goes from "boring" to "HOLY SHIT!!" within a minute.)