Live from the Rose Garden, where the 5-10 Memphis Grizzlies take on the 12-5 Portland Trail Blazers. The Grizzlies really aren't as good as their record would indicate, racking up meaningless wins against the Clippers, Timberwolves, Kings, Washington Nationals, and the San Jose Earthquakes. I'm pretty positive those last two teams don't even play in the NBA.
The Blazers pulled out a convincing win the last time these two teams met, but the bigger story was Zach Randolph's head wreaking havoc. Let's hope Rudy doesn't try one of his patented Luol Deng Off-The-Face Passes tonight with Zach: the ball just might explode.
It's a real treat to be here since normally I'm stuck transcribing Ezra's Rudy Fernandez fan fiction. Thankfully, for me and for you, this live blog will not contain the words mousse, tousled, or ball boy.
PRE-GAME:
Hey, it's former Blazer Nick Van Exel's birthday! In celebration, all Blazers will shoot their free throws from approximately eighteen feet behind the line. We need to give Memphis a fighting chance somehow—they're averaging just about 102 points a game this year, but giving up over 107. Something tells me this game won't be that fast-paced, what with everyone high off of tryptophan from yesterday. I heard they have cots set up in the locker room for halftime nap-time.
Portland has won the last eight games against the Grizz, and chances are tonight will be no different. As long as Randolph, Rudy Gay, and Lil' Pau Marc Gasol don't combine for 150 points, we should be good.
In basketball news from around the world, it looks like Chris Bosh will no longer be able to father children. Ouch. Here's to hoping nobody tries to dunk knee-first tonight.
FIRST QUARTER:
10:53 - Oden with a nice outlet from a double-team to Roy for the first three of the night. 3-2 Blazers.
9:45 - O.J. Mayo stuffed by Oden at the rim. Mayo has a big band-aid on his neck tonight. I hope it's covering up a unicorn tattoo. 8-6 Blazers.
8:01 - Martell Webster already has 8 points (and leads all scorers), and it's not even garbage time yet! 13-11 Blazers.
5:43 - Aldridge just did a nice job taking a charge from Gay. He then got up and said he was thankful that Gay didn't lead with his knee. Awww, the spirit of the Thanksgiving holiday. 15-11 Blazers.
4:20 - Blake turnover! Get used to hearing those words a lot. Randolph capitalizes on the other end. And then another Randolph score and all of a sudden the Blazers are behind. 19-15 Grizz.
2:15 - This game is UGLY. Like, Marc Gasol ugly. The Blazers are only shooting 37% and already have four turnovers. After a pair of Gay free throws, it's 23-15 Grizz.
1:48 - Miller turnover, Mayo dunk. 25-15 Grizz.
0:00 - Wow, it looks like Roy forgot to check the clock at the end of the first quarter. He got caught with his pants down, tried to huck up a shot from way beyond the three point line, but time had already expired (and he missed badly). I don't know how this is happening, but it's currently 29-15 Grizz and the fans are booing.
SECOND QUARTER:
11:30 - Hasheem Thabeet just blocked an Aldridge alley-oop. Welcome to the highlight reel, kid. 31-15 Grizz.
10:29 - Dante Cunningham and Rudy Fernandez are on the floor at the same time. I think the Rose Garden just swooned a little bit. 32-15 Grizz.
10:04 - A basket! We scored a basket! The ball actually went through the hoop! It only took, what, twenty-seven minutes? Miller drove with the shot-clock winding down and got the and one. And then missed the free-throw. 32-17 Grizz.
7:31 - The Blazers are shooting a measly 24%, while the Grizzlies are at 62%. "No offense and no defense make Nate something something." 42-17 Grizz.
6:53 - Martell with a steal! MVP! MVP! Oh, wait, Roy just a made a field goal. I think that mean he gets MVP for the night, seeing as how those are so hard to come by. 42-19 Grizz.
5:34 - LaMarcus with a three-point play and now we're at half their score! Hooray! 44-22 Grizz.
4:52 - Another blotched alley-opp, this time from Blake to Roy, but at least we got a foul called this time. One free throw down! Two free throws down! 48-26 Grizz.
4:32 - What's that? You wanted a fast-break point or two? You got it! Roy drives the lane, has a sweet dish to Aldridge for the jam. It actually looks like the Blazers remembered that they were playing basketball. I blame the tryptophan. 48-28 Grizz.
3:00 - Hey, Steve Blake, the hoop is on the front of the backboard, not on top. I know it gets hard to remember sometimes. A wild three-pointer leads to a frustration foul from Oden on the other end. Gasol with the free throws. 57-30 Grizz.
1:33 - This is not fun. I hope Nate brought milk and cookies for everyone at halftime. Roy fouled on a three point attempt, but only makes two of three. 61-43 Grizz.
1:15 - Aaaaand Blake misses a pair of free throws. The Blazers cannot catch a break. 61-36 Grizz.
0:00 - The half ends with a Martell three. We need about fifty-eight more of those to get back into this game. At least there are dog races for the halftime entertainment—I'm as excited as I've been all night. Go Tail Blazers!!! 61-39 Grizz.
THIRD QUARTER:
10:26 - Were there a highlight to give to you, I would. But, unfortunately, it's the same game as it was before the half. 63-42 Grizz.
9:28 - Martell with a monster block, then a three on the other end. But Gay gets it right back after some blown coverage. 68-45 Grizz.
7:18 - Oden with a monster put-back of a missed Roy three. Finally, the Rose Garden feels like it has some energy. 70-49 Grizz.
7:18 - My girlfriend just emailed me to say she turned off the Blazers to watch Say Yes to the Dress. Sadly, that sounds better than this game right now. Anything would be better than this. The Grizzlies with a twenty-one point lead and no signs of slowing down.
6:05 - Oden is grinding it out down low, putting in another Roy miss. 53-72 Grizzlies. This may just be a game yet.
5:15 - Buuuut there's the fourth foul on Oden. It's Przybilla time. 73-53 Memphis.
3:43 - Every time the crowd seems to get back into this one, the Grizzlies turn it on. Gasol with a nice baby hook, and it's a twenty point lead again. 75-55 Grizz.
0:20 - Nothing nothing nothing and then BAM! Webster for three! Miller with an amazing fake pass that froze the defense! Miller got the easy layup, plus the foul. Free throw good! 77-63 Grizz.
0:00 - It's a fourteen point lead for the Grizzlies at the end of the third. If the Blazers can make a few defensive stops at the beginning of the fourth, this win could happen!
FOURTH QUARTER:
10:50 - The Grizzlies have the first four points of the quarter. Game over. Except, Andre Miller just hit a three pointer. I'm pretty sure that has never happened before. Congrats on your first three, Dre. 81-66 Memphis.
9:36 - Hasheem Thabeet is OWNING the Blazers right now. Six points and what feels like eight offensive rebounds in about twenty seconds. 83-68 Grizz.
8:47 - A little momentum, then Rudy dribbles the ball off his leg out of bounds. At least the crowd is back into it. 83-70 Grizz.
8:29 - Miller fouled on a fast-break. One free throw! Two free throws! It's almost in single digits. 83-72.
6:53 - Zach Randolph with two consecutive baskets, and the air is out of this arena. It's 89-74, and unless the Blazers get a power-play and go 5-4, this one is pretty much over. Wait, what? Power-plays only happen in hockey? Oh no, things are not looking good.
5:01 - Martell with five quick points—a two with a toe on the line, and a three at the end of a fast break that was started by an Oden block. Right now, the clock is not the Blazers friend, but the Vengaboys are! They like to party! 93-81 Grizzlies.
4:11 - LaMarcus for three! This is a game!!! 94-86 Memphis.
3:05 - How does Jamaal Tinsley have 12 points in this game?! He just silenced this crowd with a long two. A loose-ball foul on the other end, and Oden hits two free throws. 98-90.
2:15 - Oden with a huge block on Gasol, but Roy turns it over on the other end. Grizzlies score, and there goes the crowd. 100-90 Grizzlies.
0:51 - Sam Young (who?!) hits a pull up jumper, and this game is officially over. Well, almost officially over. 102-91 Memphis.
0:00 - 106-96 is your final. The Blazers looked pretty pathetic, despite a late push. Hopefully tomorrow's game against Utah goes a little bit better.
