Portland's normally tasty tap water is looking...eh... let's put it as "much less delectable" for Westsiders this weekend. According to the Portland Water Bureau website, routine tests of a Washington Park open reservoir turned up "fecal coliforms" including E. coli.

From the Water Bureau:

Microbes in these waters can cause short-term effects, such as diarrhea, cramps, nausea, headaches, or other symptoms. They may pose a special health risk for infants, young children, some of the elderly, and people with severely compromised immune systems.

The water of Portland Water Bureau customers west of the Willamette and in Burlington, Palatine Hill, and Valley View Water Districts could be contaminated.

What should customers with this possibly E. coli laced water do? From the Water Bureau (all caps theirs): DO NOT DRINK THE WATER WITHOUT BOILING IT FIRST OR USE BOTTLE WATER.

The reservoir has been taken offline and they hope to have the issue "resolved" within 24 hours. No one is reporting any illnesses from the E. coli yet, but it is one in the morning. More updates on this as they come. In the meantime, two questions:

1. Who shit in Portland's water?
2. If Randy Leonard's armed reservoir guards were patrolling Washington Park, would the shitters have been shot?


Thanks to the tip from Ben.

uh... except for this weekend.
  • uh... except for this weekend.

Update 1 PM:

The Water Bureau still has no reports of E. coli sickening anyone in the county, though the illness can take several days to show up in symptoms. Hotels and cafes on the west side have responded quickly to the alert. Hotels last night distributed letters warning of their guests of E. coli and lots of cafes and small restaurants (including the west side Stumptown) are shuttered this morning, with notices about the E. coli above their "closed" signs.

At the Pearl District Whole Foods, the produce and seafood counters were completely empty. The produce had been washed with now-contaminated water and the seafood had sat on contaminated ice, so both were tossed.

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The other shelf that was bare: normal bottled water. Westsiders are now reduced to drinking SmartWater.

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