This Week in the Mercury
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Gossip Tiger Woods Mystery Revealed! (Thanks to the Chinese and a Clever CGI Recreation!)
Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Tue, Dec 1, 2009 at 3:10 PM
Ain't no valley like a Chinese uncanny valley, because a Chinese uncanny valley don't stooooop! Hey guys, if you were wondering what really happened before, during, and after golfer Tiger Woods' mysterious auto accident, then check out this CGI recreation of the incident produced by the Chinese! IT'S SO REAL, YA'LL! (In a Modern Warfare 2 kind of way.)
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Not if they can't even get the make/model of the fucking car right. To put in a minivan in its place is hilarious, I must admit.
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EVERYONE in China knows that EVERYONE in America drives a minivan!
Even insanely rich sports superstars.
Speaking of which, why doesn't he have a driver? Even Bernie Mac had a driver (god rest his soul).
If Mr. Woods had sprung for a driver instead of trying to act all, "Oh, I'm just a normal guy driving myself around town", none of this would have happened.
Lesson to insanely rich superstars: you're not normal.
Even insanely rich sports superstars.
Speaking of which, why doesn't he have a driver? Even Bernie Mac had a driver (god rest his soul).
If Mr. Woods had sprung for a driver instead of trying to act all, "Oh, I'm just a normal guy driving myself around town", none of this would have happened.
Lesson to insanely rich superstars: you're not normal.
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