This Week in the Mercury
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
News Good Morning, News!
Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Dec 2, 2009 at 9:54 AM
Obama's speech last night in which he committed 30,000 more troops to Afghanistan has put him in between the proverbial "rock" and "hard place."
Meanwhile, Defense Secretary Robert Gates opines that failure in Afghanistan would be like throwing a birthday party with cake and cotton candy for the Taliban. (I added the birthday party/cake/cotton candy part.)
President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran says his country plans on enriching as much uranium as they want, and anyone who doesn't like it (specifically the U.N.) can lick their ass. (I put in the last part.)
The New York State Senate is voting today on whether or not to legalize gay marriage—and as usual, it's gonna be a squeaker.
Evan Low of Campbell, California has just been elected the country's youngest openly gay mayor. (Oh, look. Another opportunity for you to make a Sam Adams joke.)
Meredith Baxter has come out of the closet. You know... the mom from Family Ties? Jeez. Go ask your grandmother.
On his website, Tiger Woods "regrets" unspecified "transgressions." Yeah, like that birdie he missed on the 16th hole at Pebble Beach? That was bullshit. (I have no idea what I'm talking about.)
The Heat takes down the Blazers 107-100, sending poor Ezra into another one of his alcoholic tailspins.
And finally, former Mercury art director Mark Searcy and pals are making a big splash on the interwebs today with their hilarious video tribute to Lady GaGa, beards, and the font Neutra Face. Nerdgasm, ya'll!
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