This Week in the Mercury
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Sports Civil War: The Bloodiest Battle Ever!
Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Thu, Dec 3, 2009 at 1:15 PM
Often referred to as "the bloodiest single day battle in U.S. history," the Battle of Antietam was also the first major engagement of the Civil War to take place north of the Mason-Dixon. From Wikipedia:
After pursuing Confederate General Robert E. Lee into Maryland, Union Army Maj. Gen. George B. McClellan launched attacks against Lee's army, in defensive positions behind Antietam Creek. At dawn on September 17, Maj. Gen. Joseph Hooker's corps mounted a powerful assault on Lee's left flank. Attacks and counterattacks swept across Miller's cornfield and fighting swirled around the Dunker Church. Union assaults against the Sunken Road eventually pierced the Confederate center, but the Federal advantage was not followed up. In the afternoon, Union Maj. Gen. Ambrose Burnside's corps entered the action, capturing a stone bridge over Antietam Creek and advancing against the Confederate right. At a crucial moment, Confederate Maj. Gen. A.P. Hill's division arrived from Harpers Ferry and launched a surprise counterattack, driving back Burnside and ending the battle.
By nightfall, 23,000 people had died.
P.S. Naming your stupid football game after one of the most harrowing, divisive, and murderous chapters of U.S. history is like naming a hopscotch tournament, "The Trail of Tears." Or... "9/11 dodgeball game," anybody?
2
Wm.™ Steven Humphrey doesn't much care for crassness or lack of decorum when it comes to serious stuff like war.
3
Hereby starting team Al-Qaeda for that Dodgeball tourney. Who's with me? (Warning—we demand a suicidal level of commitment)
9
Boohoo, feewings hurt?
Civil war=Brother vs. brother.
The American Civil War is not exactly the sole reference in the world for that term.
Civil war=Brother vs. brother.
The American Civil War is not exactly the sole reference in the world for that term.
10
@matt: Jihad Jihad DirkaAllah Muhammded! That movie gets funnier every time I see it. I love puppet porn.
11
Good point, D! Name some other usages of "civil war" where naming a football game after it would be appropriate.
12
Do you all remember when the Merc editor got fed up with the inundation of coverage for the Civil War game, but instead of just saying "I hate sports!" he got all pretend indignant that the US Civil War was a really horrible and bloody thing and it's just completely disrespectful, possibly dangerously so, to nickname a sporting event after such a massive loss of life, so he wrote a blog post about it, and then in the comments he continued to pretend that he was upset about the disrespect paid to soldiers who died 150 years ago?
He even used wikipedia to research the blog post.
He even used wikipedia to research the blog post.
15
They can call it the civil war, if 20% of the players die, including 6% killed as a direct result of the the other team, (the rest can die at the hands of their own medics or of illnesses or whatever,) and 13% are injured, (we are talking amputations, not sprained ankles,) and 3% of the people in the stadium die, (not out of the question: a good soccer riot leaves several bodies in most countries.) Also, it should cause serious political divisions for several generations.
Otherwise: if just 4 of those 5 happen, we can call it the battle of Oregon, 3 of the 5, and it will be the battle of Eugene, 2 of the 5 and it will be the Autzen skirmish. 1 of the 5 and it will be called a domestic disturbance. But if nobody dies at all and the winners shake hands with the losers at the end of it all, we'll have to call it something else like a "Football Game."
Otherwise: if just 4 of those 5 happen, we can call it the battle of Oregon, 3 of the 5, and it will be the battle of Eugene, 2 of the 5 and it will be the Autzen skirmish. 1 of the 5 and it will be called a domestic disturbance. But if nobody dies at all and the winners shake hands with the losers at the end of it all, we'll have to call it something else like a "Football Game."
18
Oh my god..some media outlets are calling this one the "War of the Roses" too. You know how many died in that one; Almost 1 percent of the English population perished at the Battle of Towton. I mean how disrespectful to the descendents of the House of York. Cue more faux outrage.
19
WHAT??? They're naming a football game after a middling movie starring Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner and Danny DeVito?? This bullshit has gone TOO FAR!!
20
CH,
Mercury is the Roman variation of the Greek god Hermes, so your relatives must be Italian. However, the Merc is still ripping off the flower delivery guys, the rapidly deteriorating auto industry, and the red gooey stuff in thermometers. WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN?
Mercury is the Roman variation of the Greek god Hermes, so your relatives must be Italian. However, the Merc is still ripping off the flower delivery guys, the rapidly deteriorating auto industry, and the red gooey stuff in thermometers. WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN?
22
@steve "a middling movie"
That was a GREAT movie. Absolutely among my top 10. Okay, top 20. Among my top 20. After Schindler's List, of course, which should not be used to refer to football at all.
Digressing.
WORLD WAR FOUR.
That's better.
That was a GREAT movie. Absolutely among my top 10. Okay, top 20. Among my top 20. After Schindler's List, of course, which should not be used to refer to football at all.
Digressing.
WORLD WAR FOUR.
That's better.
23
When I first moved to Oregon and heard everyone at work talking about the 'Civil War', I thought they were doing some re-enactment bullshit.
Every fucking state has rival colleges, but I don't know that many that are so unimaginative as to call it the 'Civil War'. War of the Roses is at least a step up over that, and doesn't make me think of slavery.
Every fucking state has rival colleges, but I don't know that many that are so unimaginative as to call it the 'Civil War'. War of the Roses is at least a step up over that, and doesn't make me think of slavery.
Most Commented on Blogtown, PDX
-
Mandatory French Fries on Sandwiches: CONDEMN OR ALLOW? by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey
-
TriMet Budget Cuts Rundown: Fare Increase, MAX Cuts, Killing Free Rail, Oh My! by Sarah Mirk
-
Let's Play the Game of
LoveThrones by Erik Henriksen -
The Simmering Battle Between Occupy and the Black Bloc by Denis C. Theriault
-
Woman Arrested in Last Night's Police Brutality March: "I Was Outside My House" by Denis C. Theriault
-
In Which Bobby Roberts Attempts to Ruin the One Thing That Made Me Happy Today by Erik Henriksen
-
Black Bloc Trashes Belmont; Cops Make Arrests by Nathan Gilles
-
Should Portland Ban Cops From Using Horses and Pepper Spray to Bust Up Protests? by Denis C. Theriault
-
Tonight! KATU Wants Everyone to Be Afraid of Marauding Crazy People! by Denis C. Theriault
-
New Paris Laws Give Bikes Okay to Run Red Lights; Ooh-La-La! by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey
Our Friends
- UrbanHonking
- Culture Shock
- Portland Roundball Society
- Steph Cassano
- Cort and Fatboy
- Street Roots
- Powell's Books Blog
- Portland Transport
- Portland Afoot
- Bike Portland
- Eater: PDX
- Portland Food and Drink
- Mr. Movie
- Sunday Softball
- BlueOregon
- Sightline Institute
- Ultra: Arts Portland
- Bitch Magazine
- Blazer's Edge
- Reading Local: Portland
- Portland Food Carts
- Stumptown Vegans
Our Enemies
The Handyman Pro - Your Honey-Do Specialist
Don’t let our name fool you. The Handyman Pro, LLC is a repair and remodel service provider with over 25-years experience. We cover all aspects of construction and repairs for residential and commercial clients.
Bands Page
Housing
Jobs
Musicians
For Sale
Wheels
Services
Health
The Arts
Friends 'N' Neighbors
Bulletin Board
Personals
Adult
About Portland Mercury
RSSGoing to Seattle?
Comments (25) RSS