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Thursday, December 3, 2009

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Thu, Dec 3, 2009 at 9:54 AM

Comcast (the nation's largest cable TV company) has acquired NBC Universal from G.E.—does this mean that Jack (Alec Baldwin) from 30 Rock is gonna get fired?

Congress grows increasingly skeptical about Obama's Afghanistan plan, wondering "what's the stand on Pakistan?" (I should be a rapper.)

The Senate passes a Women's Health Amendment requiring insurance companies to provide free mammograms and other girly part services. Woot now!

Secret Service Chief testifies about the two party crashers who snuck into the White House, and as it turns out, he doesn't really have a good excuse other than "whoops."

Did Tiger Woods offer his alleged mistress an alleged $1 million to keep her mouth shut about their alleged affair? DUDE, SAVE YOUR MONEY! NO ONE CARES!

Apparently not so feeble Ronnie Wood of the Rolling Stones is arrested for allegedly assaulting his young girlfriend.

According to a new poll, one in four teens admit to "sexting" nude photos. Not that I'm interested at all.

And HEY KIDS! If you are even thinking about "sexting," first listen to the wise words of James Lipton, the host of Inside the Actor's Studio. He (and his beard) doesn't think it's such a good idea.

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