This Week in the Mercury

All You Need Is Nothing

Music

All You Need Is Nothing

The Dead Milkmen Still Hate Pretty Music


Film Shorts

Film

Film Shorts

In Which We Hit It and Quit It



Friday, December 4, 2009

In Which I Valiantry Try to Remain Excited About Avatar, Despite Twentieth Century Fox's Best Efforts to the Contrary.

Posted by Erik Henriksen on Fri, Dec 4, 2009 at 2:58 PM

Two things.

First, there was last night's shameless pimping of Avatar on Bones, which is some show starring Angel and the poor man's Zooey Deschanel1. Last night's Bones was crammed with clunky Avatar plugs, which io9 breaks down in excruciating detail.

After the opening credits, Bones' King of Kong-inspired murder mystery was interrupted by three of its characters, Dr. Sweets, Dr. Hodgins, and morbid intern Colin Fisher, talking about seeing Avatar.

Of course, we know that the real reason that Mr. Fisher won these premiere tickets is because 1) Bones is a Fox property, and Fox wants to get Bones fans pumped to see Avatar, and 2) Joel Moore, who plays Colin Fisher, happens to be in Avatar.

So that's depressing, desperate, and cheap, but just in case it wasn't depressing, desperate, and cheap enough, characters from Bones then watched a commercial for Avatar, during which they talked about about how amazing the special effects are and how much more amazing they're going to be in 3D. (Insert wanking gesture here.) The episode also featured some subtle promotional imagery:

bonevatar.jpg

More at io9, where Lauren Davis was cruel enough to include video evidence.

Second, AND EVEN WORSE: Hitfix has posted Avatar's theme song, Leona Lewis' "I See You"2. "I See You" is described as (brace yourself... ) "Celine Dion crossed with Enya." That phrase is terrifyingly, horrifyingly accurate. And yet: Not even a phrase as terrifyingly horrifying as that can prepare you for Lewis' ass-clenchingly terrible song. Do not watch this YouTube. You will regret it.

I WARNED YOU. Anyway, it's not like I'm in any hurry to join the legions of trolls out there who're preemptively hatin' on Avatar—it's a film that, despite its bungled marketing campaign and easily mockable concept, I think has the potential to pretty amazing and pretty revolutionary. But... but... goddammit, Fox. Goddammit.

Thanks (?) to Grant for the heads up about that stupid fucking song.

1. Who, alas, is apparently the sister of the actual Zooey Deschanel, no doubt making Thanksgivings and Christmases kinda awkward.

2. Which I, embarrassingly, can't help but think should be titled "I C U (P)," which is probably why I am not in the music industry.

Comments (9)

Showing 1-9 of 9

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-9 of 9

Comments are closed.

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy