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Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Good Morning, News!!

Posted by Matt Davis on Tue, Dec 8, 2009 at 8:26 AM

BOMBS IN BAGHDAD!!! Kill over 100.

WESTERN CULINARY SIN-STITUTE!!! A judge approves a class action suit against the Portland cooking school, on the basis that it may have overstated claims about the value of its programs:

Western Culinary charges $18,000 to $41,000 for 30- or 60-week culinary and hospitality programs, according to the suit. Most students cover the bulk of those costs by taking out federal or private student loans.

Jennifer Adams, the named plaintiff, alleges in the suit that 70 percent of Western's 2007-08 graduates earn less than $22,500 a year. Her suit maintains that prospective students aren't told before enrollment that their diploma would mostly get them low-wage, prep and line-cook jobs. She contends they could get such jobs without WCI's training.

KELLY BROOK LOOKS PUFFY-EYED!!!

BROOKS EYES: GIVE THE SUN AN EXCUSE TO RUN AN EVEN LARGER IMAGE OF HER CHEST
  • BROOK'S EYES: GIVE THE SUN AN EXCUSE TO RUN AN EVEN LARGER IMAGE OF HER CHEST

OBAMA'S JOB STRATEGY!!! Build more highways?

"GOVERNMENT ASSISTANCE IS A GREATER THREAT TO THE PRESS THAN ANY NEW TECHNOLOGY!!!" Says the Roopster.

TIGER'S WIFE MOVES OUT!!! Ten mistresses was too many, reports Radar. Meanwhile TMZ reports that he was admitted to hospital as an "OD" patient. At some point we'll have to parse the ethics of all this reporting, although it seems that once a man has earned billions in sponsorship, every aspect of his private life becomes fair game—because he's synonymous with the brand? Poor fella. I'd say pop an Ambien to calm down, mate. Except, well...you know.

MAN THROWS TOMATOES AT PALIN!!! At the Mall of America. Misses.

SO LONG, PUBLIC OPTION!!! It's okay, America, health insurance is going to continue to be vastly unequal for everyone, just the way we secretly have always liked it. Living the dream!

GOOGLE GOGGLES!!! Search with your (puffy?) eyes.

SEXY NUDE SCENE FOR HARRY POTTER!!! Lock up your sons.

50 CENT TO SUSAN BOYLE: MEET ME IN DA CLUB!!! Let's hope they cover Tragedy.

NEW CONDOS FOR THE POOR!!!
Gawker has a smart take on this story:

The NYC Housing Authority is spending $248 million to renovate two shitty Brooklyn housing projects, while "a developer recently spent...$152 million [building a] condominium tower nearby." Which is probably languishing unsold! Just give everyone a free condo, the end.

THE LAZIEST JOURNALISTS ON TWITTER!!! Close to the bone, this one.

Good day.

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