OH GOD OUR INTERNET IS DOWN! How will we live? More importantly, it's deadline day. How will we put out the paper?

We've currently decamped to Urban Grind coffeeshop, a vast space full of laptops and crying children. A man near me just poured what appeared to be kelp powder into his coffee. This could get worse, maybe?

The blog will be slow for the rest of the day, or until God flips some mighty switch and the Internet returns. I'm tasked with manually running back and forth across two blocks, ferrying a USB drive full of fact-checked stories to the layout guys. It's like we're living in 1995. THE HORROR.

UPDATE: We haven't made much progress on putting out the paper, but film editor Erik Henriksen just revealed that in 7th grade he took a mandatory class called "Utah Studies."

UPDATE 4:48 PM: And we're back! Erik has this to share about his Utah Studies course: "I think the best thing I can remember about it is the teacher, despite her allergy to dairy, had ice cream anyway and spent an entire day teaching with giant, inflamed lips. Or that she was vain enough to take glamor shots at the mall instead of just doing the regular yearbook photos."