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Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Charity Auction Tuesday's Hot Auctions!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Tue, Dec 8, 2009 at 10:34 AM

You want a deal? HERE'S A DEAL. I can tell you from personal experience that getting a financial checkup from Charles Carroll with New Outlook Financial can CHANGE YOUR LIFE. Like you, I had a moderate amount of credit card debt, and with Charles' non-judgmental advice, I was debt free in less than a year. (Your results may vary, of course.) But Charles was also great about helping me move my investments around to green, sustainable companies that don't skin kittens for fur coats. And what's this? The Mercury Online Charity Auction is auctioning off FOUR HOURS of advice time with Charles that's currently only at $127.50? Did you know that four hours would normally go for over $1000? SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? Get your financial shit in order once and for all with this great auction that's gonna go for a great price!

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But that's not all! There are POOP TONS of great deals still left in the Mercury Online Charity Auction! Such as...

• Mountain biking madman (and Mercury publisher) Rob Crocker will take you and three friends on a mountain bike tour of Ape Canyon on beautiful Mount St. Helens, PLUS you get some sweet swag from Sellwood Cycle, PLUS a delicious picnic lunch from South Bank Kitchen... and this is currently only going for... $20.50?? Holy mother of christ, somebody's gonna walk off with a steal! (Will it be you?)

• Want some more financial advice? Buy this shooting script for Twilight, autographed by screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg (now only $61) and then resell it on Ebay to some desperate Twi-hard for a million bucks! Bing, bang, boom, you're out of debt.

• Look, I know why you're only bidding $26 for our "Hang Out with the Mercury Girls" package. Because it is CLEARLY not as fun as the "Play Hooky with the Mercury Boys" package, now going for $51. However, do me a solid and make a pity bid for the girls, okay? They're moping around the office, thinking they're ugly. Thanks!

AND DON'T FORGET! The Mercury Online Charity Auction ends this Friday, Dec 11 at 5 pm sharp, and all the proceeds go to benefit the fantabulous OUTSIDE IN who are doing marvelous work helping homeless teens help themselves!

So... GO! NOW! BID!!

 

Comments (2) RSS

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1
Riding around in the distro van in the middle of the day sounds like more fun, it has nothing to do with the company. I can also use the line "the news media needs to question me" when I take the day off work, where as, "I'm gonna be late tomorrow as I'll be hungover," almost never gets the same respect.

(And I can play pool and sing karaoke with the Mercury Girls for the price of a few drinks. I don't need to bid on ebay for it.)
Posted by Matthew D on December 8, 2009 at 10:33 PM · Report
2
What kind of pool will the Mercury girls be playing, exactly?
Posted by Andy Mesa on December 9, 2009 at 4:56 AM · Report

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