"I'm an unmarried heterosexual woman," writes Jamie Frevele, on eBay. "And since I probably won't be using my right to get married, I would like to give it away. I would like to sell it to the highest bidder and donate the proceeds to an organization that supports LGBT rights since the government designed to protect all of us is picking and choosing based on what they think is icky, weird, or unkown to them."

Bids end in three days!
  • Bids end in three days!

In the mean time, if you're interested in a marriage prospect but that's a bit political for you, why not buy a "date" with all the Mercury's unkempt, unwashed boys*. Currently going for the inappropriate price of...what?! $51?! I don't even get out of bed for $51. Christ.
Bids never really end, since most of us are also highly-paid gigolos. But technically, bids end in 2 days, 11 hours.
  • Bids never really end, since most of us are also highly-paid gigolos. But technically, bids end in 2 days, 11 hours.

*some of us are actually kept, washed. But truth in advertising, you know. I'd hate for you to be disappointed.

All auction proceeds go to Outside In! Still, that just sounds desperate at this point. I know.