This Week in the Mercury

Lowered Expectations

Film

Lowered Expectations

What to Expect When Watching What to Expect When You're Expecting


A Different Kind of Normal

Visual Art

A Different Kind of Normal

Leah Nash's Photographs Share a Candid Glimpse into Life with Asperger's



  |  

Thursday, December 10, 2009

News Good Morning, News!!

Posted by Matt Davis on Thu, Dec 10, 2009 at 8:28 AM

OLD TOWN BURGER KING TO GET $8.9MILLION MAKEOVER!!! This is such incredible news, it's ridiculous.

SUPERTAX!!! British bankers are furious that any bonus they get over GBP40,000 this year will be taxed at 50%. Entitled, moi?

AFGHAN WOMEN PROTEST KARZAI!!! He's not doing enough to stem corruption, they say. Although it came out "hmmh herhh hehhm hhmmm mmmm mmm," thanks to the Burqa. That's right, Davis. Tell a "joke"about Islam.

50995178.jpg

WHO'S THE HOTTEST MODEL IN GREAT BRITAIN??? Why, it's Mick Jagger's kid. I repeat: Entitled, moi? Oh, hold on...she actually is pretty hot. Cruel world!

ROB PATTISON: "I'M SINGLE"!!! You thought this was a news post, but it turns out, I'm just indulging a desire for a bit of celebrity gossip this morning.

TIGER'S TORTURED TEXTS!!! Thank god for some real news at last.

OBAMA'S DRIVE THROUGH NOBEL!!! He's too busy surging troups in Afghanistan to stop for long. Speech was "quite good," says Gawker:

"But perhaps the most profound issue surrounding my receipt of this prize is the fact that I am the Commander-in-Chief of the military of a nation in the midst of two wars. One of these wars is winding down. The other is a conflict that America did not seek; one in which we are joined by 42 other countries — including Norway — in an effort to defend ourselves and all nations from further attacks."

BRITISH AMBULANCE CREW DROP, KILL HEAVY PATIENT!!! Awfully sorry, dead chap.

GIANT ICEBERG HEADING FOR AUSTRALIA!!! It's twice the size of Sydney Harbor, mate.

SARAH PALIN SIGNS WOMAN'S CHEST!!! I wonder if she'd sign America's ass?

Good day.

 

Comments (9) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
1
Ah it is the "Get the bums off SouthWest Burnside" Stimulus.

WE ARE SO FUCKED.
Posted by NIG GER on December 10, 2009 at 9:53 AM · Report
2
Oh, what? Nothing about the enlightening and valuable discussion that continues on the Mary Volm thread? It just keeps going on and on.
Posted by rich bachelor on December 10, 2009 at 10:16 AM · Report
3
The $8.9 million and CCC takeover of that BK is going to be a redemption story beyond Hollywood.

It's perhaps the most important development in poverty politics in the state's history.
Posted by J Renaud on December 10, 2009 at 10:39 AM · Report
4
Matt, can you convert 30 stone to pounds? And I thought "awfully sorry, dead chap" was hilarious. Call me sick, I guess.
Posted by ujfoyt on December 10, 2009 at 10:51 AM · Report
5
@ujfoyt: A 30 stone man weighs 192 Kg.
Posted by Graham on December 10, 2009 at 12:17 PM · Report
6
The BK story is spend $9.8 million to bring 1300 MORE bums to W Burnside.
Whatta makeover!

Posted by D on December 10, 2009 at 12:55 PM · Report
7
Damn, for a second there I was excited. I thought they were building another Burger King there. Coz you know, Portland doesn't have enough of those, and their food is so good.
Posted by iwouldprefernotto on December 10, 2009 at 1:40 PM · Report
8
1 pound is 2.2 kg,correct? If thats the case, he weighed 87.27 pounds? Something is not right.
Posted by ujfoyt on December 10, 2009 at 3:28 PM · Report
9
My math is all screwed up. He weighed about 423 pounds. Ok. Thanks, Graham.
Posted by ujfoyt on December 10, 2009 at 3:33 PM · Report

Add a comment

Our Friends

Our Enemies

/images/adoftheweek.gif

ad of the day

The Handyman Pro - Your Honey-Do Specialist
Don’t let our name fool you. The Handyman Pro, LLC is a repair and remodel service provider with over 25-years experience. We cover all aspects of construction and repairs for residential and commercial clients.go


post an ad

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use