This Week in the Mercury

Let's Discuss Masculinity!


Film

Let's Discuss Masculinity!

Morgan Spurlock and the World of Male Grooming


One Day at a Time

Columns

One Day at a Time

The Week in Review



Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Mickey Rourke Plays Jump Rope in the Iron Man 2 Trailer.

Posted by Erik Henriksen on Wed, Dec 16, 2009 at 5:02 PM

The Iron Man 2 trailer is here.

The trailer featuers: Robert Downey, Jr. being awesome. Iron Man being awesome. Glimpses of Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow, naturally, being awesome. Don Cheadle shooting shit. AC/DC.

Alas, it also features Mickey Rourke saying a bunch of goofy shit and jumping rope.

Miss Susie had a steamboat, the steamboat had a bell, Miss Susie went to Heaven, the steamboat went to... Hello operator please give me number nine, and if you disconnect me Ill kick you from behind, the refrigerator there was a piece of glass, Miss Susie sat upon it and cut her little... ask me no more questions, tell me no more lies....
  • "Miss Susie had a steamboat, the steamboat had a bell, Miss Susie went to Heaven, the steamboat went to... Hello operator, please give me number nine, and if you disconnect me, I'll kick you from behind, the refrigerator, there was a piece of glass, Miss Susie sat upon it, and cut her little... ask me no more questions, tell me no more lies...."

I'm getting a weird vibe off of this one, but (*adjusts glasses*) by and large, comic book movie sequels are better than the originals—Spider-Man 2, X-Men 2, Blade II, The Dark Knight. But then, none of those films costarred this guy, so we'll see.

rourke.jpg

It just occurred to me that my ideal film would be a buddy comedy starring Mickey Rourke and Nicolas Cage as two former cops who've been kicked off the force for excessive drinking/grabassing, and can't get anyone to take them seriously... or can they? Featuring Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow.

 

Comments (13) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
1
Waitasecond… this is the same plot as Rocky III!
Posted by Wm. Steven Humphrey on December 16, 2009 at 5:06 PM · Report
2
I need to change my shorts now...damm that looks good!
Posted by namarchetti on December 16, 2009 at 6:00 PM · Report
3
I think it's racist that the black guy has to use bullets when the white dudes get to use awesome pulse cannon thingies.
Posted by Graham on December 16, 2009 at 7:15 PM · Report
4
I say, sonny. Why can't any movie these days field a decent villain?
Posted by Will Radik on December 16, 2009 at 7:35 PM · Report
5
If you add any Baldwin (other than Alec cause he has ACTUAL talent) to the Cage/Rourke pic I'M THERE!!!
Posted by Abusive on December 16, 2009 at 8:07 PM · Report
6
Of all the Iron Man villains, they had to go with Whiplash. Mandarin, for one, is way cooler, despite the possibly awkward name.
Posted by iwouldprefernotto on December 16, 2009 at 8:07 PM · Report
7
@temblors: I could have sworn that they did some sort of forshadowing about Mandarin in the first movie. That Persian dude was wearing one of the rings or something. I don't remember, it's been awhile.
Posted by Graham on December 16, 2009 at 8:12 PM · Report
8
@Graham, @temblors: Yeah, they did a ton of foreshadowing for the Mandarin in the first Iron Man. But did you see [GENERIC CHARACTER ACTOR NAME HERE] getting all sorts of blowjobby reviews for his turn in THE WRESTLER? No, you did not. And thus: Whiplash.

At this point, I don't give a shit who the bad guy is or who plays him/her. I just want Tony Stark to START GETTING DRUNK ALREADY. The only thing better than Robert Downey, Jr. in a flying tank is a drunk Robert Downey, Jr. in a flying tank.
Posted by Erik Henriksen on December 16, 2009 at 8:55 PM · Report
9
"Shot and a beer Shelly, and keep em coming."
Posted by Great Wall O Rubish on December 17, 2009 at 10:03 AM · Report
10
Mickey Rourke will always be Henry Chinaski in my mind. "TO ALL MY FRIENDS!!!"
Posted by iwouldprefernotto on December 17, 2009 at 10:39 AM · Report
11
How come Mickey Rourke doesn't play Randy the Ram in the Iron Man movie? Is Shellhead ready for the Ram Jam? I don't think so. And both of them have weak hearts so it will be a fair fight.
Posted by Gorilla Monsoon on December 17, 2009 at 11:31 AM · Report
12
"[GENERIC CHARACTER ACTOR NAME HERE]"

Oh give me a break! Mickey Rourke was the best American actor to emerge out of the 1980s. I'd go as far as to say he's the only reason I'm working up the strength to go see IM2 (as well as track down the first).
Posted by PeretDesnos on December 17, 2009 at 5:40 PM · Report
13
@PeretDesnos: While I wouldn't say Rourke was the best American actor to emerge out of the '80s, I didn't mean to imply that he's a generic character actor--I was referring to whoever the hell it was who played the Mandarin in the first Iron Man. Probably should have written "But did you see [GENERIC CHARACTER ACTOR WHO PLAYED THE MANDARIN IN IRON MAN 1'S NAME HERE] getting all sorts of blowjobby reviews for his turn in THE WRESTLER?"
Posted by Erik Henriksen on January 15, 2010 at 4:50 PM · Report

Add a comment

/images/adoftheweek.gif

ad of the day

The Handyman Pro - Your Honey-Do Specialist
Don’t let our name fool you. The Handyman Pro, LLC is a repair and remodel service provider with over 25-years experience. We cover all aspects of construction and repairs for residential and commercial clients.go


post an ad

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use