At Last! Saoirse Ronan Isn't Wasted!
Senate Dems get the 60 votes they need to avoid a Republican filibuster on the health care overhaul. Joe Lieberman was quoted as saying, "I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog, too!" before flying off on his broom.
Republican Sen. Tom Coburn allegedly asked his cohorts to pray for the death of Democratic Senator Robert Byrd so health care reform would not pass. See you in hell, Tom.
The Transportation Department hands down a new rule to the airlines: passengers stuck in stranded airplanes will be allowed to deplane after three hours. The airlines respond by saying, "Oh, yeah? Well, maybe we'll just give the passengers some poisoned peanuts!"
Actress Brittany Murphy died yesterday… at age 32… supposedly of "natural causes." Yeah, I'm not buying it either.
Tens of thousands Iranian mourners turn a funeral into a gigantic protest of the government.
The Auschwitz sign stolen on Friday has been found (though cut up into three pieces) and police are questioning five suspects.
Police are investigating a video of a detective waving a gun during a Washington, D.C. snowball fight. Mmmmmaybe the gun was made out of snow, too?
Will Conan O'Brien be bumped off The Tonight Show to make way for Jerry Seinfeld?
Congratulations to Everclear who made the AV Club's list of… oh, wait... LEAST essential albums of 2009. Yeah, I guess I didn't read that right the first time.
And finally, before I leave, here's "Mark Wahlberg Talking to Some Christmas Animals." Yeah. Happy holidays to you, too. Say hi to your mother for me.