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Mark Vanhoenacker's Poetic Cure for the Nervous Flier


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Lose Yourself

... in the Predictability of Southpaw



Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Dec 23, 2009 at 9:19 AM

Democrats must clear just one more vote to pass Health Care Reform before Christmas. Republicans discover the feeling of "powerlessness" doesn't suit them.

The plan to relocate prisoners and close Gitmo has stumbled again. Anybody got a cheap prison for sale?

Dozens are injured as an American Airlines plane overshoots the runway in Jamaica.

Balloon Boy dad is currently in court for sentencing, and may get a whopping 90 days behind bars!

Blackberry users
suffered their second internet outage in a week, which means they have no way of searching for used iPhones on eBay.

Walmart tries a THIRD time to bring another of their big box stores to Portland—and this time? They promise to not be so creepy about it.

Aerosmith's Steven Tyler is in rehab for a 10-year addiction to pain killers, brought on by "performance injuries" and not that he likes the feeling pain killers give him.

A New Zealand cop scolds two nude bicyclists… for not wearing helmets. (Tip o' the helmet to hot tipper Graham for sending in this "oh-so-very Portland" story.)

BYU beats Oregon State 44-20 in the Las Vegas Bowl, if you care about such things. I'm not judging.

Blazers' Joel Przybilla is out indefinitely after a patella injury. What's up with the Blazers and their delicate patellas?

Headline of this or any other day: French Schoolgirls Don Miniskirts In Dress Code Revolt.

And finally, actor/Mac hipster Justin Long gives toys to homeless kids—at least one of whom would prefer to be homeless or anywhere else, except next to Justin Long. I hear what you're saying, kid.

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