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Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Dec 30, 2009 at 9:15 AM

SLUSH STORM 2009!! ODOT says the roads are "clear and passable"—so get your ass to work.

Obama says there was a "systematic failure" of the nation's security plan that allowed the underwear bomber to get on that plane. (I love the term "underwear bomber" so much more than "shoe bomber"—don't you?)

The Dutch vow to now use full body (i.e. underpants) scanners when allowing passengers into the United States.

Last month, a potential plane bomber was apprehended before boarding a plane in the Mogadishu Airport. Way to go, Mogadishu Airport!

A suicide bomber hits a U.S. military base in Afghanistan—casualties are currently unknown.

Expect to see the all-too-rare "blue moon" on New Year's Eve. (Wait... it's not actually "blue"? BULLSHIT!!)

Happy Birthday to Tiger Woods and Eliza Dushku! (Dear Tiger, that doesn't mean you can fuck her.)

And finally, Dramatic Chipmunk ends this year with a bang—and a little reminder THAT HE WILL NOT BE PATRONIZED.


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