This Week in the Mercury

Take Your Medicine

Music

Take Your Medicine

The Pharmacy's Rock and Roll Lifestyle


Blood, Honey, and a Trojan Horse

Film

Blood, Honey, and a Trojan Horse

Angelina Jolie Brings a Dog into the Bosnian War



  |  

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Biscuits My New Year's Resolution...

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Thu, Dec 31, 2009 at 10:47 AM

... is to become strong enough to have a big black guy ride on my back, and to have bricks of gold surgically embedded inside my calves. But that's just me. What's your resolution?

 

Comments (8) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
1
That's easily the gayest thing I've seen all day.
Posted by Graham on December 31, 2009 at 10:55 AM · Report
2
I think the inclusion of Judas Priest's "Turbo Lover" was quite fitting.
Posted by ouch! on December 31, 2009 at 11:16 AM · Report
3
On the "we don't realize how gay this is" scale - that is through the roof.
Posted by Abusive on December 31, 2009 at 12:11 PM · Report
4
Are you guys saying that I've "out-gayed" Patrick Coleman?
http://blogtown.portlandmercury.com/Blogto…

If so... WOOT NOW!! In your not-so-gay FACE, Patrick!!
Posted by Wm. Steven Humphrey on December 31, 2009 at 12:45 PM · Report
5
I thought the announcer introduced him as Mister Jay Gay Marsh
Posted by v.renwick on December 31, 2009 at 2:25 PM · Report
6
Turbo Lover is the quintessential gay love song, and a favourite at Chopsticks. Thanks, Steven.
Posted by Will Radik on December 31, 2009 at 3:49 PM · Report
7
Yes Wm.(tm) You win.
Posted by Matthew D on December 31, 2009 at 5:41 PM · Report
8
My plan was to quit drinking on New Year's Day. I'm starting to have serious second thoughts however. Watching the utter implosion of the country that I love so much has definite advantages from the vantage-point of the bottom of an empty vodka bottle. In fact it can be a lot of fun! Better to giggle when shit-faced than to weep with your faculties intact. The last ten years have been such an utter train wreck that it is difficult - if not impossible - to take it all in in any other condition than complete, alcohol-induced giddiness. When one is forced to witness the total decline of what used to be a grand civilization, it generally is a good rule-of-thumb to have an artificial stimulant at the ready. Heroin is too expensive and marijuana gives me terrible anxiety attacks. So make it one for my baby and one more for the road, Joe....

Was that decade just a horrible nightmare? Of course I'm being facetious, but there were more-than-a-few times during during the last ten years - particularly during the time the Bush Mob was in power - that I would awaken suddenly in the middle of the night and say out loud,

"Did I dream that?"
"Is Bush seriously president?"
"Did we actually invade Iraq?"
"Are the Spice Girls really number one?"

And a special tip of the old fedora to George W. Bush. Anyone who can make me nostalgic for the likes of Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan has a certain talent, no doubt about it. His entire eight-year-reign seems almost surreal in hindsight. In a twisted and cynical paraphrasing of Charles Dickens, "It was the worst of times. It was the worst of times." What a long, strange trip it's been. As the great Hunter Thompson liked to say, "Buy the Ticket. Take the ride."

http://www.tomdegan.blogspot.com

Tom Degan
Goshen NY
More...
Posted by TomDegan on January 1, 2010 at 2:18 AM · Report

Add a comment

Our Friends

Our Enemies

/images/adoftheweek.gif

ad of the day

The Handyman Pro - Your Honey-Do Specialist
Don’t let our name fool you. The Handyman Pro, LLC is a repair and remodel service provider with over 25-years experience. We cover all aspects of construction and repairs for residential and commercial clients.go


post an ad

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use