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Thursday, January 14, 2010

Girls Only! / TV Attn. Ladies! Jennifer Love Hewitt Wants You to "Vajazzle Your Vajayjay."

Posted by Erik Henriksen on Thu, Jan 14, 2010 at 9:39 AM

If you told me that George Lopez had a talk show I would not have believed you. "Ha!" I would've said. "That's about as likely as if Jennifer Love Hewitt somehow learned to read and then wrote a book!"

Jennifer Love Hewitt recently promoted her upcoming book, The Day I Shot Cupid, on Lopez Tonight, a show where the host splits his time between looking bored as fuck, shouting things like "Let the booty out! Let it out! Don't cover the booty!", and not-too-subtly implying that Jennifer Love Hewitt likes to sleep around. On this particular episode, G.Lo and J.Lo2 kick things off by talking about how unfair the tabloids are to Jennifer Love Hewitt's ass, and then for some reason she starts enthusiastically insisting that women everywhere should "vajazzle their vajayjays," which sounds like a phrase a drunk five-year-old would come up with. For some inexplicable reason, a guy in the crowd goes "YEAH!" at the thought of a bedazzled vagina, and then George Lopez gets down on his knees and kisses her hand. Because that's what you do when someone starts talking about vajazzled vajayjays, you see.

I hope when Leno and Conan walk from NBC, Lopez Tonight can finally get all the attention and success that it so richly deserves. I'm dead serious when I say that if this shit is what this show's like all the time, I would watch it every night, right after I finish my 11 pm ritual of diagramming the best places in my apartment to set up a chair and a noose.

Thanks, Warming Glow.

 

Comments (4) RSS

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1
Leave Jennifer Love Hewitt alone and stick to reviewing video games for geeks and nerds and lame ghey 80's movies. Stay in your lane. This is your only warning geek!
Posted by The Showstopper on January 14, 2010 at 10:12 AM · Report
2
Does not your fellow Mercury writer Ann (I wish I was someone) Romano constantly use such catch phrases? Only difference being she is a no one. PS the guy that yells "yeah" is Joe NAMATH! No really
Posted by The Showstopper on January 14, 2010 at 10:19 AM · Report
3
More like Joe No-Namath.
Posted by ROM on January 14, 2010 at 10:49 AM · Report
4
that Ann Romano has balls!
Posted by eric cantona on January 14, 2010 at 2:17 PM · Report

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