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Monday, February 8, 2010

Games Yo Koppa, Where You At? (UPDATED)

Posted by Earnest "Nex" Cavalli on Mon, Feb 8, 2010 at 3:38 PM

"Right here dog. I'm just sippin' on some clover."

Koppa. Sippin On Some Clover.
  • Atlus USA
  • Koppa. Purportedly Sippin' On Clover.

Update: Mercury film editor Erik Henriksen phoned me at 4AM this morning to discuss this piece. At first all I heard was ragged breathing and if I hadn't checked my phone's caller ID before picking up, I wouldn't have known it was him.

"Hello? Erik?" I asked after a few moments of heavy breathing and what I could swear were muffled sobs.

" ... just sippin' on some clover ..." came the meek reply. "What?" I asked, baffled.

" J -- JUST SIPPIN! JUST SIPPIN' ON SOME CLOVER!" Erik was nearly shouting at me through the phone now.

"Uh, yeah Erik. I'm glad you, um ... liked the post? I'm going back to bed dude. Night." As I hung up I could hear him again shout "clover."

Hopefully I can explain this whole thing away before The Mercury turns into a publication of Lovecraftian myth (or you readers start pooing on yourselves en masse).

Courtesy my emailed explanation generated by Henriksen's minutes of fingerwaggery:

The whole backstory is that there really isn't an explanation behind it, outside of this total letdown: Atlus mailed me this game called Shiren the Wanderer for the Wii. It's fantastic, but too esoteric to really be reasonable for an appearance in the paper, so I decided I would give it the proper long explanation it requires by reviewing it on Blogtown.

The only problem with that plan is that it's a Roguelike, and a really good one that adds a bunch of new ideas to the genre, so I can't just spend 6 hours in front of it and have beaten the whole thing. Thus, the review has to wait while I die and die and die, over and over again, all the while inching my way ever closer to the final floor of Karakuri Mansion.

Koppa, the ferret, is kind of the mascot for the game. He's adorable, and sarcastic, and he's a talking ferret. I asked Atlus to send over a bunch of images for the inevitable review and that picture was one of the ones they sent. For some reason, I totally love that picture in ways that are probably unwholesome.

I was playing Shiren yesterday and taking notes for the review and I ended up typing that thing about him sippin' on clover (which means absolutely nothing, but is apparently melting the brains of everyone who comes into contact with it). Then I was like "okay, so I'm still a few days away from being able to do my review at the very least, but I wanna make sure people know that a review IS coming and to watch out for it, but just saying that seems really dull, so let's go with the nonsequitir ferret conversation!"

So I did.

And there was intense scandal. The streets ran red with blood, children died in their mother's arms and any lambs who had been dense enough to lie down with lions were promptly bitten into tiny, tiny pieces.

To quote that radio guy "... and now you know ... the REST of the story."

Now what part of that would you like me to go on to the post and explain (most likely while nervously clutching a crumpled fedora in my hands and doing a really poor impression of Jimmy Stewart)?

Happy now? You've pulled back the emerald curtain to find a half-naked ferret. The illusion is dead. We hope you're happy.

 

Comments (12) RSS

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1
So a weasel or ferret or whatever the new mascot of St. Patricks Day or something?
Posted by Beer Batter on February 8, 2010 at 3:51 PM · Report
2
Could someone please explain this post to me?
Posted by Alison Hallett on February 8, 2010 at 4:10 PM · Report
3
@alison

"Koppa is a talking weasel from the Mystery Dungeon: Shiren the Wanderer series. Koppa acts as the voice of Shiren, as Shiren is a silent protagonist."

I hope this clears things up. Somehow.
Posted by kiala on February 8, 2010 at 4:22 PM · Report
4
@kiala

I got exactly that far in my googling. It cleared up nothing.
Posted by Alison Hallett on February 8, 2010 at 4:59 PM · Report
5
I second Alison. What does this mean?
Posted by Dave Bow on February 8, 2010 at 6:29 PM · Report
6
I think Nex has finally gone over the edge.
Posted by ujfoyt on February 8, 2010 at 6:49 PM · Report
7
"find a half-naked ferret" Did you find my account on tube8.com?
Posted by Graham on February 9, 2010 at 2:39 PM · Report
8
I, Disillusioned.
Posted by kiala on February 9, 2010 at 2:43 PM · Report
9
You know, if blogtown posters get paid by the comment, Nex is winning here.
Posted by Matthew D on February 9, 2010 at 5:48 PM · Report
10
Yeah, but sadly we get paid by the crow's foot. Thus, since I'm the youngest and prettiest member of the Merc's writing stable, I get paid in "opportunities to sleep without being shanked" whereas Matt Davis -- who is actually a 700-year-old immortal from the highlands of Scotland -- is given entire islands in the Columbia River every time he mentions Breedlovergate.
Posted by Earnest "Nex" Cavalli on February 9, 2010 at 5:58 PM · Report
11
That would explain why you were up at 4am. You knew if you didn't post something you were going to wake up dead, so you came up with this "thing" (for lack of a better word.)
Posted by Matthew D on February 9, 2010 at 7:25 PM · Report
12
Hey now Sonny Jim! I was awake at 4AM because I've been trying to kill my brain with consciousness! It's the same reason why I've only slept 6 hours in the last 92!

Confusing my self-destructive experimentation with some sense of obligation to Portland's finest escort ad repository, is, frankly, an insult to the fine men and women who risk their lives on a nightly basis to bone our readers for small wads of filthy dollar bills!

Now apologize to the fine genital recreation professionals Captain Jerkmachine!
Posted by Earnest "Nex" Cavalli on February 9, 2010 at 7:34 PM · Report

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