You would think the Portland Business Alliance might have learned to cool its lobbying jets, having been on the wrong side of pretty much every major policy issue in Portland for the last twelve months. The PBA effect, you know: Lobby for something as a way of persuading City Commissioners to vote against it?

No on 66/67? The PBA was right there.

Keeping the sit/lie ordinance? You betcha.

The bike plan might harm freight? Ohhhh yeah.

But no. The Portland Business Alliance has once again distinguished itself as the city's most vociferous lobbyist in this week's quarterly lobbying reports, released by the city auditor's office.

Other noteable lobbying items on the reports this time around include: "$100 worth of beverage" for the mayor's arts staffer, Polly-Anne Birge, from the "Sweat-free Art Show." We've got a call in to find out more. City Commissioner Nick Fish had lunch with former mayor Tom Potter in late December (again, we've called to ask what they talked about), [Update, 2:47pm Fish says Potter asked if he would champion a music program at Jefferson High School, which he agreed to do. "We went to a Thai restaurant in Sellwood. We had spring rolls and we had some chicken dish. We did not talk politics, but I did thank him once again for making me housing commissioner." Back to original post...] and perhaps most mysteriously of all, City Commissioner Dan Saltzman took $20 worth of "meat, eggs, ground beef and ribs" from Realty Group/Fred Sanchez on October 22. We've called Saltzman's office to find out how that ground beef tasted. Meanwhile Police Chief Rosie Sizer also took "5 bottles of Buffalo Wing Sauce from Retired Buffalo NY Police Comm. Rocco Diina," worth $20. I'm not sure I want to know, frankly, what that's about. But back to the PBA...

PBA lobbyist Bernie Bottomly—the brother of Oregonian managing editor Therese Bottomly, incidentally, although they never talk politics, she says—met with or telephoned city staffers no less than 26 times between September and December 2009. Bottomly's colleagues and bosses met with council a further 14 times, according to the report.

The issues discussed? Well, there's a "warming center," or rather, not a warming center—Nick Fish ended up moving a planned downtown warming center across the river after complaints. Then there's "park security contracts," "homeless feed locations," "sidewalk plan implementation," "camping," a "possible sidewalk governance ordinance," (they just won't quit with the whole sidewalk issue, will they?!), not to mention the "Columbia River Crossing," and "Downtown Crime Prevention." Sends chills down one's spine, just contemplating those conversations.

"Build a 20 lane bridge straight to hell, Sam."

"And pave it with the skulls of the homeless."

"And make hell cold, so that the homeless don't flock there."

Next to the PBA, the Port of Portland's 19 lobbying visits seem rather anemic. They discussed issues like the river plan, the Portland Loo, and transportation. Meanwhile the League of Women Voters, which only made 8 haranguing trips to discuss issues like the Chasse incident and affordable housing, look like they ain't even trying.