It's been well documented that once Olympic athletes complete their events it's time to fuck. But wait! There's a condom shortage in Vancouver! Apparently supplies are running perilously low:

Health officials in Vancouver have already provided 100,000 free condoms to the roughly 7,000 athletes and officials at the Games. That's about 14 condoms per person. But as of Wednesday, those supplies started running dangerously low.

And why not? Everyone's fit, international, and figure never to see one another again (translation: nail a curler, tell your friends it was a figure skater). Unfortunately, there's been no word yet if the rubbers handed out in Vancouver were commemorative, as they have been in years past:

The first major effort at condom giveaways was at the Barcelona Games in 1992, and it was a huge success. The shields were emblazoned with the colorful Olympic rings, apparently a mood enhancer (or a cool souvenir).

In 1996, Atlanta's organizers pushed five-packs, with one 'prophy' in each official Olympic color.

In 2000, the colors were gold, silver, and bronze.

Those are some pretty cool jimmys (except who wants to be the reciever of the "Bronze?"). None, however, were as awesome as the "Osama Bin Condom" we got some years back at the Acropolis. The slogan read: "For real pricks," and as such, the spermicidal tip was a clearly cut hole. We gave it to our friend for his birthday and the dumb-ass tried to use it on a girl who wouldn't do him unless he wrapped it up. Rest-assured, she noticed the hole, and he was promptly denied—a waste of the greatest piece of 00's memorabilia EVER.

And just in case you were wondering about Olympians in bed:

...courtesy of Men's Journal, which conducted a survey of sorts: Swimmers do it longer; the French do it most often (but only with compatriots).

In Sydney, the Cubans ... well, they ran through their ration faster than any other nation.

I guess I speak for everyone in hoping that babies resulting from the condom shortage are born to parents whose nations have heath care! And as Tracy Morgan told Jon Stewart the other night, "I'm old school Jon—I don't pull out!"