No PlayStation 3 owners, your console is not borked.

Instead, it seems that Sony's online network is having a meltdown, leaving millions of anxious Sony fans with no recourse but to bitch endlessly on the vast plains of god's green Internet.

Sony has yet to acknowledge an official cause for the network outage, but has confirmed that it is occurring globally and that it affects certain games much more drastically than others.

Perhaps hardest hit in this fiasco is Mercury favorite Demon's Souls, whose inventive online connectivity won it rave reviews. Sadly, with no network to connect to, both the game's online component and its offline gameplay (which uses the network to add more items of interest to the game world) are inaccessible to gamers.

I'll update this thing as soon as Sony has an official statement on offer instead of typically corporate, vague, canned responses like their current "we're working on a fix to this mystery problem which should be available soon."

Until then, I'd recommend taking a walk in the refreshing night air. Even if you get mugged, at least you won't have to wait until the PlayStation Network comes back online to find out if you've also been stabbed to death.

Update: For reasons that seem to baffle even Sony, it now seems that the newer, "slim" PlayStation 3 models are once again able to connect to the PlayStation Network.

Update #2: The PlayStation Network is now fixed. No word on what caused the issue, so we're going to assume someone at Sony has been fired for incompetence.