This Week in the Mercury


Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Good Morning, News!!

Posted by Matt Davis on Tue, Mar 9, 2010 at 8:36 AM

WHAT THE EFF??! "Gov. Ted Kulongoski has chosen Multnomah County Chairman Ted Wheeler to be the new Oregon state treasurer, filling the vacancy left by the death Sunday of Treasurer Ben Westlund."

TED WHEELER: HOPEFULLY AS STATE TREASURER HELL BE ABLE TO ADVOCATE FOR BETTER MENTAL HEALTH FUNDING TOO
  • TED WHEELER: HOPEFULLY AS STATE TREASURER HE'LL BE ABLE TO ADVOCATE FOR BETTER MENTAL HEALTH FUNDING TOO
So much for Wheeler's excellent remarks in his State of the County address. This seems to be proof that good leaders don't last long in Portland. And grudgingly, good on you, Teddy. Now...who'll be the next county chair? More shortly.

HEALTH "REFORM" MAY PASS WITH ABORTION COMPROMISE!!! Bless the democratic process.

WALMART SELLS BLACK BARBIE CHEAPER THAN WHITE BARBIE!!! It was "part of the chain's efforts to clear shelf space for its new spring inventory," says a liar.

FIRST GAY COUPLE MARRIES IN D.C!!! Lovely.

QUAKE MOVED CHILEAN CITY 10 FEET WEST!!! Science-a-licious.

JAMAICA: VISIT FOR OUR JEWS!!! And our gay pride para...oh. Right.

BRITAIN TO SEND 42 MILLION CONDOMS TO SOUTH AFRICA FOR WORLD CUP!!! Big fears about spread of HIV. Sadly the link has a picture of American condoms. Do you seriously think an Englishman could, without irony, slip on a "Trojan?"

ALCOHOL KEEPS YOU THIN!!! Also, drunk.

STEVE DUIN DOESN'T LIKE IT!!! The Tom Hurley fight, I mean.

Good day.

 

Comments (4) RSS

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1
"Do you seriously think an Englishman could, without irony, slip on a 'Trojan?'"

hmm, I have no idea. Are the English still bitter about the Trojan War, or something?
Posted by ROM on March 9, 2010 at 10:01 AM · Report
2
No. But I think we're more realistic about the size of our winkies. And we don't need to buy condoms called "Magnum" or "Trojan" or, why not simply, "Gladiator" to get a boner on.

A simple "Durex" will do nicely thank you.
Posted by Matt Davis on March 9, 2010 at 10:22 AM · Report
3
I've always wondered why the UCLA football team is called the Trojans.
Posted by ujfoyt on March 9, 2010 at 10:54 AM · Report
4
Damn my British heritage!
Posted by Dave Lister on March 9, 2010 at 11:52 AM · Report

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