I can't work under these conditions! A large truck and a mini-steamroller (!) are growling in the road outside out office window, surrounded by a half-dozen guys in yellow safety vests who are SHOOTING FLAMES from equipment strapped to their back.

They say they are filling potholes. We all know whose favorite publicity stunt that is. The workers say it was just reported, perhaps via iPhone. Good one, Mr. Mayor. Good one. The people outside our window are far too smiley to be real road workers...