This Week in the Mercury

Geek Out

Film

Geek Out

Devil's Advocate


Bollywood Star

Food and Drink

Bollywood Star

Elevating Portland's Indian Offerings



  |  

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Artsy / Mercury Help Design a Mercury Cover!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Thu, Mar 18, 2010 at 3:58 PM

Surely you know of Portland artist Andrew Zubko's hilarious painting entitled "Batman vs. Shark" that's taken the internet by storm, yes? Here it is again.

1268787624-batmanvsshark-1.jpg

Anyway, GET THIS: We've commissioned Andrew to create a cover for the Portland Mercury... AND YOU GET TO DECIDE WHAT IT WILL LOOK LIKE!

Andrew will combine three objects into one painting—like he did with Batman, shark, and light sabre—to create a hilarious Mercury cover, and YOU will dream up and decide what those three things will be! So in the comments below, submit your short list of ideas for the following three topics:

Subject of the Painting: President Obama, panda bear, Patrick Swayze, howling wolf, Keyboard Cat … anybody or anything as long as it's NOT A COPYRIGHT PROTECTED CHARACTER. (No Batmans, Garfields, or Captain Kirks, but William Shatner is okay.)

What the Subject is Holding: An uzi, a taco, a bloody shovel, a rocket launcher, a He-Man sword, a kitten... you name it!

What the Subject is Riding/Fighting/Hugging: A dinosaur, a lunar rover, an H-bomb, a kitten, a William Shatner... again, you name it!

We'll gather up the best of your answers, put them in a poll, and let you vote on it starting tomorrow! The top vote-getter in each category will be sent to Andrew who will fashion your choices INTO THE GREATEST MERCURY COVER EVER SEEN BY HUMAN EYES! (Might take a couple weeks though.)

So what are you waiting for? LEAVE YOUR IDEAS IN THE COMMENTS BELOW!

 

Comments (32) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
1
Eric Estrada, a sunset, and a hamburger.
Posted by BlackedOut on March 18, 2010 at 4:02 PM · Report
2
valdimir putin, kitten, riding t-rex
Posted by Jackmojo on March 18, 2010 at 4:05 PM · Report
3
Kiala, Alison and Marjorie Jello wrestling. I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself.
Posted by ujfoyt on March 18, 2010 at 4:07 PM · Report
4
Smirk kicking Graham in the nuts. I think that would bring some resolution to things.
Posted by Graham on March 18, 2010 at 4:09 PM · Report
5
Reginald Vel Johnson, a Glaive, and Glo-Worm.
Posted by Fatboy Roberts on March 18, 2010 at 4:12 PM · Report
6
Reginald Vel Johnson can be substituted out for Charles S. Dutton, if the artist prefers.
Posted by Fatboy Roberts on March 18, 2010 at 4:14 PM · Report
7
Betty White with a battle axe riding Bambi
Posted by DJP on March 18, 2010 at 4:16 PM · Report
8
OH SHIT.

Wilford Brimley, with the Sword of Omens, on a Pug.
Posted by Fatboy Roberts on March 18, 2010 at 4:22 PM · Report
9
Sam Adams getting spanked by a priest with a spatula.
Posted by woop on March 18, 2010 at 4:22 PM · Report
10
First of all, ujfoyt's idea should not be wasted on an artist's depiction. I'm thinking live event for charity. I don't think I could even tell you right now how much money I'd give to Outside In to see that.

For the cover, though:
Randy Leonard, wielding a rocket launcher, astride a saddled-and-bridled Lars Larson.

OR

Former BTA lobbyist Michelle Poyouroux (sp?), gripping a giant bolt of lightning, riding a wheelie-popped bicycle on the Hawthorne Bridge wearing the Carrie-Fisher-Jabba's-Palace costume.
Posted by Bronch O'Humphrey on March 18, 2010 at 4:25 PM · Report
11
Marlon Brando punching a viking in the desert.
Posted by rocketpunch on March 18, 2010 at 4:27 PM · Report
12
Morrissey, Sawed Off Shotgun, Fighting Daleks (or generic vampirish Robots if that's too copyright infringing)
Posted by Blanders on March 18, 2010 at 4:28 PM · Report
13
Liza Minnelli on a shitter mowing the lawn. That just makes sense.
Posted by buchino on March 18, 2010 at 4:31 PM · Report
14
Ted Danson, a Yugo, Spaghetti Monster
Posted by Unibashradio on March 18, 2010 at 4:32 PM · Report
15
the blue angels and tie fighters flying over the made in oregon sign, giant kittens with lazer eyes, swimming pool with debutantes in floss while notorius b.i.g gets interviewed by robin leach in front of the willamette with killer whales jumping and trainers doing handstands on their noses
Posted by miguelaron on March 18, 2010 at 4:46 PM · Report
16
Genghis Khan. Blanket. Giant Lobster. on Mars
Posted by Biconditional on March 18, 2010 at 4:49 PM · Report
17
A zombie atop the eiffel tower throwing cupcakes.
Posted by If forgot my login on March 18, 2010 at 4:54 PM · Report
18
A pie fight between a Transformer version of Obama and a Dinosaur version of Tim "The Toolman" Taylor.
Posted by Kurt on March 18, 2010 at 5:04 PM · Report
19
Greg Oden Riding a Giant Rooster holding a large Sword
Posted by whahappen on March 18, 2010 at 6:16 PM · Report
20
Greg Oden Riding a Giant Rooster holding his large cock
Posted by G.G. on March 18, 2010 at 6:45 PM · Report
21
Terry O'Quinn (as himself, not John Locke) pointing a banana like a gun, while riding on the shoulders of Bigfoot.
Posted by sgtgrumbles on March 18, 2010 at 6:50 PM · Report
22
Dom DeLuise cracking a whip while riding a tower of children who are all riding on each others shoulders.
Posted by Gnarmageddon on March 18, 2010 at 7:20 PM · Report
23
As a refinement to my original post, we could add Courtney to the mix and have tag team Jello wrestling. Huzzah
Posted by ujfoyt on March 18, 2010 at 7:59 PM · Report
24
Angkor Wat, a merkin, and Towelie (wanna get high?)
Posted by Tommy on March 18, 2010 at 8:57 PM · Report
25
Early-TekWar-era Shatner, holding a mini-TV-Star-Trek-era Shatner, doing battle with a Priceline-era Shatner.
Posted by tODD on March 18, 2010 at 9:41 PM · Report
26
Great painting. Here's a link to an artist whom appears to be an inspiration for Andrew.

http://www.brandonbird.com/paintings.html
Posted by uu on March 18, 2010 at 10:17 PM · Report
27
Oprah, holding tiny Oprah, riding giant Oprah
Posted by concerned citizen on March 18, 2010 at 10:46 PM · Report
28
*Vikings with AK-47 riding T-rexs

*A dozen mini-Napoleons on the moon fighting zombie baristas.

*Jesus in a rap battle with Dick Cheney.

*Vampires on bicycles attacking the internation space station.

*A robot Hunter S. Thompson playing tennis in City Hall.
Posted by Number Six on March 19, 2010 at 7:50 AM · Report
29
A viking with a skull head, wearing only a fur loincloth, brandishing a flaming chainsaw, fighting a giant crocodile with razors strapped to its claws. Also the crocodile has a bomb strapped to its head. And Holy Diver is playing in the background.
Posted by Forgot my password on March 19, 2010 at 8:19 AM · Report
30
Sasquatch sitting on a fallen tree in a lush Pacific NW forest reading...
Posted by egads on March 19, 2010 at 9:09 AM · Report
31
Hundreds of John Ritter heads emerging from cocoons hanging from the Avatar Tree of Life, with the biggest Big Gulp ever at the base of the tree. But it's surrounded by spikes! In the background is Meghan McCain about to be crushed in a trash compactor, and a secret tube is connecting the compactor to the Big Gulp, aka the new Sap of Life is her guts.
Posted by ROM on March 19, 2010 at 12:59 PM · Report
32
Freddie Mercury singing on top of the Planet Mercury using a broken thermometer as a microphone so that he is covered in Mercury and then have the mic stand fashioned as the Portland city flag poked into the surface to claim the territory for the town. Have some broken up bicycle-powered space ship smoking in the foreground for all the green people.
Posted by Crabby on March 25, 2010 at 11:12 AM · Report

Add a comment

Our Friends

Our Enemies

/images/adoftheweek.gif

ad of the day

The Handyman Pro - Your Honey-Do Specialist
Don’t let our name fool you. The Handyman Pro, LLC is a repair and remodel service provider with over 25-years experience. We cover all aspects of construction and repairs for residential and commercial clients.go


post an ad

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use