This Week in the Mercury

Neal Stephenson's New Space Epic

Books

Neal Stephenson's New Space Epic

Seveneves Is His Most Accessible Book to Date


I Love Television™

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Savage Love Letter o' the Day: A Sex Worker is Born

Posted by Dan Savage on Wed, Mar 24, 2010 at 9:59 AM

I was having casual sex with one person for nearly the past year. However, his shoddy performance of late coupled with our mutual lack of desire to have a typical relationship led me to the Craigslist Casual Encounters section. For the first time in my life I responded to an ad, researched the guy, met him in a public place where I knew all of the employees, then a few days later had him over to my house. We had great sex for hours. I considered this a success. My happiness with my first CL experience, my natural curiosity, my high sex drive, and my struggle to pay bills led me to CL once again a couple of weeks later, but this time with the intention of getting paid for sex. Like the first time, I responded to an ad, met him safely, etc., then had him to my house. The sex wasn't as awesome and he wasn't as cute as the first guy, but I've certainly had worse sex with less attractive people for free.

I believe sex work should be legal, but I never pictured me doing it. I keep waiting for the Irish Catholic guilt of my childhood to pop up, or for me to suddenly become aware of my poor self-esteem which led me to this point, but so far I'm pretty happy with the return I got for my time and work. And I'm thinking I'll keep this up as an ongoing thing with this man, since I can certainly use the additional income. So my question is this: Is this how sex workers are created? Is it really this easy? Are there going to be repercussions to my psyche that I haven't envisioned yet? Or will I continue to be a happy, progressive, horny, hot bi chick who also happens to fuck for money?

No Acronym

My response after the jump...

Yes, this is how sex workers—self-employed sex workers, the kind of sex workers that ethical sex customers seek out—are created. They take out an ad somewhere offering their services for the first time, they meet up with a potential client for the first time, they get paid for sex for the first time.

Will your Catholic guilt kick in at some point? Perhaps. Catholic guilt is harder to escape than the murderer in a teen slasher flick—unless you're the pope, of course, who seems incapable of feeling guilt or shame or remorse. As for the potential repercussions to your psyche, well, the longer you do sex work, NA, the likelier you are to have one or two or three hundred bad experiences, and a bad sex-work experience can really put the zap on your head. Yes, yes: working at McDonald's can put the zap on your head too, and the pay is a lot less. But you don't have to take someone into your body working at McDonald's—you don't have to engage in physical intimacy and/or fake emotional intimacy.

That said, NA, if you're selective about clients, if you continue to screen them carefully, and if you don't do things/guys you're not absolutely comfortable with, you should be okay. But there are no guarantees.

And you're already doing one big thing right: "I'm thinking I'll keep this up as an ongoing thing with this man." Every sensible sex worker knows that it's safer to have a small and established clientele—even if it's a clientele of one—than it is to constantly be seeking new clients. Each new client is a potential head case and advertising for clients can bring you to the attention of the police. So stick with that guy, if you think he's safe, maybe advertise until you have one or two more clients you can rely on, and then yank your ad until you need to add another client or two to your roster.

Good luck, NA, and condoms, condoms, condoms.

More on SEX

Comments (4)

Showing 1-4 of 4

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-4 of 4

Comments are closed.

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy