RANT!!! I'll be "ranting" at City Club today on the theme of "blood in the bike lanes." In general the rant is about our priorities as a city, and could very well end my career. Planned Parenthood Advocates of Oregon director Roey Thorpe and former Willamette Week news editor John Schrag will also be ranting on their own subjects. Obviously I'll be on home ground with the City Club crowd, so any support you might want to come along and lend on your lunch break would be much appreciated. Details are here, it's at the Governor Hotel at noon, and it's $5 to get in, at most, unless you can blag it. Other news...

MOSCOW SUBWAY BOMBER WAS 17!!! Widow of a militant.

US SEES LARGEST JOBS GAIN IN MARCH!!! So...the recession's over?

TIGHTER AIRPORT SECURITY!!! Because of that guy with the underpants.

"I CAN GO TO MY RIGHT, BUT I PREFER MY LEFT." Obama plays basketball on the early show. Effortless confidence, much?

LINDSAY LOHAN BROKE!!! Might get evicted.

FILIPINOS MARK GOOD FRIDAY WITH CRUCIFIXIONS!!! Literally nailing themselves to crosses. Ouch.

JESSE JAMES A BROKEN MAN!!! Jah.

J-LO WILL SIGN WITH DEF JAM!!! But it ain't all good.

ABORTION DOCTOR'S KILLER GETS LIFE!!! Insert "pro-life" joke here.

Good day.