Sometimes you just have to get out of the way and let the press release speak for itself. (This one, it is worth noting, was sent at 3:10 AM.)

Grab your wingman by the stinger, or lose him forever — Hot Gun the musical is locked and ready to load! The best of the best are in the cockpit once again, and they’re poised to take your breath away. Are you ready to bring back that loving feeling? Do you feel the need for speed?

The creators of last fall’s critically acclaimed “cock opera,” Chariots of Rubber, WonderDiamond Productions, present Hot Gun - a rock ’n’ roll re-imagining of the iconic blockbuster, Top Gun. Hot Gun will be performed live on stage at Dante’s, each Wednesday for a 200-seat, eight-week run, beginning May 12, during Portland’s Fleet Week. The first theatrical production ever held at the legendary Portland music venue, Hot Gun features an eclectic cast of some of the Northwest’s most talented (and infamous) stage luminaries, and a thunderous live soundtrack, performed by the nationally recognized glamrock outfit, Diamond Tuck and the Privates.

1986, and the Cold War’s about to get a lot hotter. Maverick, reckless rogue and loose cannon, bucks his way through the United States Navy Strike Fighter Weapons School, desperate to prove that he can stand firm to the end, even in the darkest and deepest of trenches.

Hot Gun reunites the talented team of director Jeffrey Wonderful (Chariots of Rubber, Rose City Rollers, Portland Organic Wrestling), and producer/rockstar Jedediah "Diamond" Aaker (Diamond Tuck, Lucky Thirteens, BarFly). While remaining remarkably faithful to the original screenplay's dialogue and plot line, the new live musical production bears the hallmarks of this dynamic duo's playful tweaking. The overheated sexual dynamics of the 80s classic are turned up even higher - the pilots’ locker room has become a sauna, our hero’s rival and love interest flip genders, and the the top-selling soundtrack soars off the charts, with live renditions so testosterone-charged and full-frontal, they instantly outstrip the originals.

It’s a constant dogfight, even in the locker room, with rival flight jockey Iceman offering stiff competition, while Maverick bristles under the reins of civilian instructor Charlie. Can Maverick penetrate the hard deck, and still maneuver through the danger zone - the danger zone of love?

In tangentially related news... This strikes me as possibly too nerdy even for Whedon fans, but Pacific Crest Community Theater is currently running a staged adaptation of Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blogmore info here. And you all heard that Mr. T will be starring in PCS' 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee, right? Because that's happening too.... (Or is it?)