This Week in the Mercury

Wonderful World

Music

Wonderful World

Leon Bridges' Sweet, Smooth Soul


New Column!

Columns

New Column!

SPONSORED CONTENT: Sirloin Burger Is Your Favorite Campbell's Chunky Soup? You've Gotta Be Shitting Me.



Wednesday, April 14, 2010

It's Alcohol Awareness Month

Posted by Matt Davis on Wed, Apr 14, 2010 at 3:07 PM

The Oregon Liquor Control Commission just Tweeted a link to this online alcohol screening test, which will assess your drinking against the rest of the US population and try to help you figure out...well...

SHIT
  • SHIT

Fortunately, I got this answer back:
NO SHIT
  • NO SHIT

God bless the O'Douls! But then, on my bad days, I think I'm still what Roger Ebert would describe as a "white knuckle dry drunk." For example, I am really looking forward to getting high at the dentist's next week when they rip out my wisdom teeth. But. I filled out the survey based on my drinking habits at their peak, and was woefully informed that a whopping 12% of the adult male population drinks more than I used to. Can you top that? Pussy? Huh?

Comments (15)

Showing 1-15 of 15

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-15 of 15

Comments are closed.

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy