This Week in the Mercury

Hall Monitor

News

Hall Monitor

A Wakeup Call on Housing


Savage Love

Columns

Savage Love

At the Neptune



Friday, April 16, 2010

Toddler Tight-Rope Walker in Training (Now, with Tigers)

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Fri, Apr 16, 2010 at 1:25 PM

Okay, junior. You don't want to play football? That's fine by me, but there's NO WAY IN HELL you're going to sit around MY house playing videogames all day. So here's what we're gonna do: You're going to train to be a tight-rope walker, and... DON'T YOU ROLL YOUR EYES AT ME, YOUNG MAN! I'm fucking serious, here! You're going to learn to walk the tight-rope, and you're going to do it at least 30 feet above the ground, just like grownups do. Oh, and to make it a little more interesting (for me)? Underneath you, on the ground, will be five ravenous tigers—so slipping isn't exactly an option, is it?

Oh, so now you're gonna cry? I'LL give you something to cry about, you big baby!! Now get on that goddamn tight-rope!!

Comments

Showing 1-1 of 1

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-1 of 1

Comments are closed.

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy