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SQUEEE or SQUICKY? by Jonathan Lipnicki

<i>Great Expectations</i> Meets Expectations, Does Not Exceed Them


Great Expectations Meets Expectations, Does Not Exceed Them

The Crazy Lady in the House with No Light Is Great, Though!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Your Daily (Playoff) Blazer

Posted by Ezra Ace Caraeff on Tue, Apr 27, 2010 at 8:05 AM


Sorry Blogtownies, I dozed off during last night's name. Last I checked, the Blazers were off to a fantastic start, hitting their first seven shots, and were up 23-9. I'm pretty sure Portland continued that pace and won in an absolute blowout. Let me just crack open the paper and see the final score...

/takes large sip of coffee
/sees final score
/spits coffee all over keyboard
/bvjenigruv9wouxfct8bq[nu hxdf!

It turns out that Portland dominated the game for all of five minutes, the remaining 43 minutes belonged to Phoenix. The Suns' 107-88 steamrolling was their third rout in this series, proving that when this team is on, Portland doesn't stand a chance of keeping the score even remotely close. This time around it was the Phoenix bench, lead by former Blazer Channing Frye (Noble Rot Loving Judas!), Jared Dudley, and a surrounding cast of players that helped the Suns out-rebound the Blazers 41-to-29.

Like all three Phoenix wins in this series, this game was nearly unwatchable. The night's lone highlight was Marcus Camby dislocating his pinkie finger, then popping the sucker back in (while screaming). Had that injury happened to Rudy Fernandez, he'd still be in the ICU wrapping that finger in Hello Kitty band-aids. But injuries like that only happen to players who score: Rudy had zero points in a useless 15 minutes on the court.

So, it's eliminating time for Portland. The Blazers need win to Thursday night at the Rose Garden and on Saturday in Phoenix. If they do, they advance. If they don't, season over.

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