Contrary to all y'all haters' predictions, the Portland Police Bureau's "A Kid's Guide to What We Do" does not include a single picture of a pig.

It does include a picture of a Taser, though! And some thoughts on horse poop. Officer Dave Thoman and his daughter, Woodmere Elementary teacher Molly Walker, wrote the 30-page paperback book (well, it's more like a giant pamphlet than a book, really. Maybe a "zine.") and were on hand at the special book launch at Woodmere this afternoon, along with Chief Rosie Sizer and Portland Public Schools (PPS) Superintendent Carole Smith. The book will be used in the PPS curriculum, said Smith.

"What this does for us is help kids understand the role police have in our society. It humanizes us and I hope help breaks down some of the fear of police within our community," Chief Sizer told the crowd of small children, parents and reporters in the Woodmere gymnasium.

I have an EXTRA COPY of the PPB: AKGtWWD and it will go to whoever submits the best original page for their kid's own guide to the Portland PD.

Scroll through the book's 30 pages below the cut.

If you can't read the pages at this small of a size, click through to read them on Flickr. But let me just direct your eyes to my favorite section: