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Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Drugs Alright, Which One of You Blogtown Readers Left Your Crack on my Lawn?
Posted by Ezra Ace Caraeff on Wed, May 12, 2010 at 3:46 PM
Thanks to some unexpected police presence, or a very clumsy crackhead, I am now the proud owner of a pretty impressive bag of crack* that was abandoned on my lawn. Can we sanction a giveaway for this on Blogtown? Or, since I found it during business hours, do I now have to leave it on the break table to share with my co-workers?
* If police chief Mike Reese is reading this, I flushed it. I swear.
6
I want my crack back!
On a similar note, I found a belt of automatic ammunition in my flower bed a couple of weeks ago. 70 rounds which the cop described as "serious, armor-piercing stuff".
On a similar note, I found a belt of automatic ammunition in my flower bed a couple of weeks ago. 70 rounds which the cop described as "serious, armor-piercing stuff".
7
It doesn't compare, but someone tossed a metal dentist's pick into my open convertible in the Hooter's parking lot.
8
Dude, smoke it! Then write some music reviews (and state in the review that you wrote the review while high on crack - people will be into that).
10
BOH, your first comment should be comment of the week.
I found a gram of blow outside the South Park Square apartments on 10th Ave, by the shittiest McMennamin's on the planet (Market St. Pub).
It was Friday night, me and the lady were headed to a party. IT WAS AN AWESOME PARTY.
I found a gram of blow outside the South Park Square apartments on 10th Ave, by the shittiest McMennamin's on the planet (Market St. Pub).
It was Friday night, me and the lady were headed to a party. IT WAS AN AWESOME PARTY.
11
@ROM
Yes, but how would that be different from all the other weeks Ezra smokes crack and writes reviews?
I mean, the same goes for me. Do you really think that we put this paper together sober? I ate balls, BALLS for chissakes!
Yes, but how would that be different from all the other weeks Ezra smokes crack and writes reviews?
I mean, the same goes for me. Do you really think that we put this paper together sober? I ate balls, BALLS for chissakes!
12
A real bummer you threw out all of those crack pipes from your kitchen awhile back. Maybe someone (another Merc staffer?) pulled them out of the Mercury dumpster?
13
Take it back, Jackattak, I fucking love Market Street Pub. It's the only McMenamins I can go to and expect prompt service.
Also it's where I would take tricks if we pulled an all-nighter.
Also it's where I would take tricks if we pulled an all-nighter.
14
Ezra and Blabby have sketchir stories, but I think the circumstances of Reymont's story are the funniest.
17
Seriously. Not to distract too much from that gorgeous back of crack but Reymont, really? Hooters? Convertible? Is there a hawaiian shirt, ponytail and mid-life crisis involved in this scenario, as well?
18
Sorry, Alexjon. That place smells so fucking bad while walking past, and the food is horrible!
Even though the Market St. makes that side of the sidewalk stink like shit, now I can't resist going back to that fateful spot I found that gram.
"Scan the ground...scan the ground..."
Even though the Market St. makes that side of the sidewalk stink like shit, now I can't resist going back to that fateful spot I found that gram.
"Scan the ground...scan the ground..."
19
@Two_Squatting_Women: Haha. I never claimed to be classy. My license plate now says IDIOT, just so there's no confusion. :)
20
If I see your car Reymont, I'll be sure to throw one of those little dental mirrors in your window. I guess that's the "done" thing these days.
21
It's fun to crack jokes about drugs that aren't tearing apart white, gentrified communities, isn't it? Wait. Oops?
25
I'm going to hang out in Reymont's careand get my teeth cleaned.
That sounded waaay creepier than I intended it to.
That sounded waaay creepier than I intended it to.
27
"On a similar note, I found a belt of automatic ammunition in my flower bed a couple of weeks ago. 70 rounds which the cop described as "serious, armor-piercing stuff"."
Portland: Where the shit you find in your yard is GODDAMN AWESOME!
Portland: Where the shit you find in your yard is GODDAMN AWESOME!
28
I'm with those other posters who found Reymont's convertible the most interesting "aspect to this story."
What kind is it? Hmm. Let's see. The kind of convertible you'd find in a Hooters parking lot.
Okay. How close am I if I guess a laser blue Miata with a Margaritaville lanyard hanging from your rearview?
(my second guess is a rad gunmetal gray mid-late '80s 911... ;)
What kind is it? Hmm. Let's see. The kind of convertible you'd find in a Hooters parking lot.
Okay. How close am I if I guess a laser blue Miata with a Margaritaville lanyard hanging from your rearview?
(my second guess is a rad gunmetal gray mid-late '80s 911... ;)
31
@lew archer - Even worse - you're just not shooting high enough. It was a Ferrari 308, like on Magnum PI - but in bright yellow!
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