This Week in the Mercury

Back in Black

Film

Back in Black

Here's that Men in Black Sequel You Haven't Been Asking For!


Geek Out

Film

Geek Out

Devil's Advocate



  |  

Friday, May 14, 2010

Health / Drugs / Misc / Video Agony-Fueled Euphoria

Posted by Brianne "the intern" Turner on Fri, May 14, 2010 at 1:29 PM

I recently took a tumble that involved a staircase and a complete lack of grace which resulted in a "severe sprain" on both sides of my ankle, a space boot/cast thing, crutches and some much needed Percocet. YES!

I generally avoid prescription drugs, instead opting for whatever hippie bullshit DIY remedies I can find on WebMD (because it's cheaper, not because my body is my temple), but today I am chasing the dragon on coffee and Percocet and feeling exactly like this:

I LIKE MY STUFF!

I predict sobbing and awkward confessions within the hour.

 

Comments (11) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
1
She clearly grew up to become this girl:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2pgbjPzF2k
Posted by Reymont on May 14, 2010 at 1:36 PM · Report
2
She likes her Alisons! A+.
Posted by Alison Hallett on May 14, 2010 at 1:44 PM · Report
3
It's spelled Percocet. Two C's. But Percocet'll do that to you. Man, Percocet is fun times indeed.

But I'm sorry to hear that you lost your fight with gravity. It happens to the best of us. Get better and well and see a physical therapist and all that junk.
Posted by Graham on May 14, 2010 at 1:57 PM · Report
4
I feel sorry for the baby forced to live in the bathroom.
Posted by Suburban Porn King on May 14, 2010 at 2:06 PM · Report
5
@Graham Thank you! And I absolutely blame the drugs for my spelling errors. Just kidding--it's probably the booze.
Posted by Brianne Turner on May 14, 2010 at 2:09 PM · Report
6
Percs over Vics any day of the week for me.
Posted by Abusive on May 14, 2010 at 2:21 PM · Report
7
Don't laugh.

There are a variety of internet-based tools which millions of persons with and without diagnosis of mental illness actively use to regulate, augment and improve their strong moods and ideas. Considering the unregulated price and general ineffectiveness of most HMO and government-bought mental health care, this is the cure of the clouds, a intrepid swarm of investigation and experimentation arising to lead and find happiness.

Why not? Screw the APAs. Watch almost any of the laughing baby videos on Youtube and you will smile and feel content, roughly the same as 20 minutes into 2 mg of Diazepam.
Posted by J Renaud on May 14, 2010 at 2:49 PM · Report
8
I'm the one who pushed Brianne down the stairs! Bwahahaha!!!
Posted by Evil Wm. Steven Humphrey on May 14, 2010 at 3:40 PM · Report
9
OH MY FUCKING GOD.

I just vomited IRL again, just FYI. This time from laughing too hard.

What does WebMD have to say about that? Nothing! That's what! Because it's a fucking FRAUD like its father!
Posted by Alexjon on May 14, 2010 at 3:48 PM · Report
10
When I was having kidney stones several years ago. I became acquainted with oxycodone. Good stuff, but VERY habit forming.
Posted by ujfoyt on May 14, 2010 at 3:53 PM · Report
11
I find the entire tone of this post incredibly attractive. You don't happen to have very low self-esteem, do you? Daddy issues? Are you free this weekend?
Posted by Will Radik on May 14, 2010 at 8:41 PM · Report

Add a comment

Our Friends

Our Enemies

/images/adoftheweek.gif

ad of the day

The Handyman Pro - Your Honey-Do Specialist
Don’t let our name fool you. The Handyman Pro, LLC is a repair and remodel service provider with over 25-years experience. We cover all aspects of construction and repairs for residential and commercial clients.go


post an ad

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use