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Thursday, May 20, 2010

Good Morning, News!!

Posted by Stefan Kamph on Thu, May 20, 2010 at 9:45 AM

Juice!! Biker Floyd Landis admits he was using performance-enhancing drugs for the 2006 Tour de France, after spending $2 million in court saying he didn't. Hmm, just saying, Sarah Mirk rides a bike too. Let's keep an eye on her so she doesn't go on a steroid-addled rampage and sue the Mercury.

You go, Pakistan! Keep on blocking those very popular social networking sites!

Hey, nobody cares!! The White House gatecrashers are back.

There were extra people in the cockpit of the plane that crashed with Polish president Lech Kaczynski on board.

Global menace BP will try "as early as this weekend" to stop the disastrous, horrifying, no-holds-barred clusterfuck of an oil gusher in the Gulf of Mexico by injecting shit into the top of their failed, piece-of-crap "blowout preventer" that they built with a dead battery and prototype parts. Forgive me if I'm not so optimistic. Oh, journalism. Objective. Right.

Ahem. Kentucky senate nominee Rand Paul questions the Civil Rights Act. And gets lot of national attention.

Stocks tumble again. See, if you don't have any money, now is a time you can be glad!

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  • stolen from nytimes.com, courtesy evil Internet

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